Funny How Things Happen
by ISntSheLovely0007
Summary: JE. When Sean dies, Emma turns to Jay in a desperate need again, but what about Manny, and does Emma always turn to Jay for a reason or is she just confused? Or is there still something between them? Could it be love.. or is it just a twisted attraction?
1. How Strong Do You Think I Am

_**(suggestions)**_

_**It just takes a second for my world to come crumbling down  
Oh i'm sure in the distance you can hear that awful sound  
Oh i plead for an answer, plead for an answer from you  
But if you give me an answer, that just makes no sense then whats the use  
And just like that my life is broken  
I can barely breathe  
and now i'm opened for suggestions  
At the end of the day lifes a lesson**_

The door to the back room of Sean Camerons vuneral slammed closed and Emma Nelson was choking up and literally wrapping her hands around her neck as she paced back and forth, trying to breath, having a panic attack.

"I can't do this." she cried out of breath, a worried Manny behind her and trying to put an arm around her best friend but Emma shrugged out of it and went to the other side of the wall.

Manny shoulders dropped sadly, Emma had been a wreck since they heard the news that Sean Cameron, Emma's first love, had been shot and killed in Iraq.

It wasn't fair, it wasn't supposed to be like this. Emma and Sean had plans..

Manny tried to make her feel better, "sure you can, Em, I know you can, you're the strongest girl I know.." she drifted assuringly, tugging a small smile to her lips.

"That's the problem!" Emma cried helplessly, her face turning red as she bursted into tears, clenching her teeth.

Manny gave Emma a confused yet sympathetic look, she'd never know how she felt right now... losing someone you were in love with...forever.

"Everything alright?" came a deep voice, and Jay Hogart squeezed quietly through the door, glancing at Emma and then to Manny and back at the trembling blonde in black. Jay, like everyone else, wore black pants and a black button up shirt. He tried to make his hair look good since the rest of him was a little... damaged. Cut cheek, split lip and a small bruise by his eye.

Let's just say Jay had a little accident after he heard the news of his friends death.. stupidly, _accidently_, Manny had told him the news on the phone when he was at a bar.. he wouldn't talk about it, not with anyone, but later he was found at the hospital after a car crash and luckily Manny got Snake to take pity and get Jay out of a lot of trouble for drunk driving since friends with the cop who arrested him.

Anways, as usual, everybody outside in the funeral room just stared at Emma, the girl could never catch a break, no wonder she ran off.

Jay had seen the way Emma looked at Sean's coffin... like she thought as if she was the reason he was dead.

Emma was so distraught she didn't even notice Jay come in as she kept crying, leaning her back against the wall and bending forward a bit. She put her hand on her heart, like it was hurting her, and Manny even began to tear up, **heart break**..it truly did happen and her best friend was a victim of it right now.

Emma began to speak again after taking a moment to breath in shakingly, "I'm _strong,_ I'm _smart._." she went on sarcastically, bitterly laughing and then sniffed, "I'm Emma, I'm **supposed** to be _organized_, I'm **suppose** to know everything so why can't I understand _this_?" as she spoke the last word her voice cracked and she tilted her head, wondering why she couldn't and a tear slid down her cheek.

Why was Sean gone? Why HIM?

Manny stood there, mouth open and waiting impatiently for words to comfort Emma, but she could think of none.

Emma finally noticed Jay was in the room, behind Manny and she sniffed, and turned her back on them, whipping her eyes to try to stop the tears. It was useless.

"I'll go get you some tissues." whispered Manny, turning and went out the door quickly.

Emma wore a black hip hugging dress, down to her knees and the sleeves went to her elbows. Her hair was the honey blonde that everybody loved and yet..as pretty as she looked, she felt horrible. She wanted to go back home, and go back under the covers she'd been hiding under before for a week.

"You're _allowed_ to be weak when you wanna be."

Jay stood behind Emma still, and muttered those words as he stood infront of a vase with roses in it, his fingers tracing the pedals and thorns as Emma looked over her shoulder at him and he then concentrated a bit too hard on the flowers.

"Not when everyone expects so much of me, even at a time like this." Emma bittered, laughing disgustingly at the pedestal everyone had her on. Why couldn't she just cry infront of them? Throw herself at Sean's casket crying like she wanted to..

"Come on." this time Jay snorted sarcastically.

Emma raised an eyebrow at him as he nodded towards the door everyone was outside of.

He turned to her and went on explaining, "Those people aren't looking for you to be tough, their waiting for you to crack..waiting for the next amusement of our daily lives.. and who cares if you do." his eyes squinted at her and she eyed him closely, her tears clearing up.

"I do." she said quietly.

Even all through this, Jay could still bare a small smirk on his lips, "Then don't give them what they want." he confirms.

Emma opened her mouth and then slowly closed it as Manny walked back in, the two still lookng at another and Manny stopped beside Jay who broke his stare off of Emma and looked back down to the vase. Manny reached her arm out and she held a kleenex that Emma took from her.

"You ready?" Manny asked gently, and Emma actually felt herself just that; ready.

"Yeah." Emma admitted, slowly nodding.

Wait, was this some trick? After saying she wasn't strong enough for this and days of everyone else close to her and in her family, insisting she could, it's Jay that reminds her how to be strong?..

She watched Manny nod and bare one more smile before going back out the door, and to Emma's notice, holding Jay's hand tightly and leading him out too.

Jay followed after Manny after giving Emma one more assuring small nod. After everything these two have gone through and yet, his assuring could still make her feel alright..

Alone, Emma stood back in the room, taking one more deep breath before she went out there. Everyone was in black, and everyone from highschool was there, plus more, and some students Sean knew from Wasaga. Emma did her all to avoid his family.. but she could feel Trackers eyes on her the whole time.

"Why does he have to stare like that?" she heard Manny say, they were behind her, and didn't think she could hear them.

Manny stood with Toby and Liberty, and Jay stood more behind them as they talked about Emma, but glanced at the blonde with them.

"He knew his brother loved her.." Liberty insisted that's what it was.

With her back on them, Emma looked down at the ground. Sean loved her, that's why he went to the stupid army, because he wanted to be better, for her! It was her fault..

"Oh Emma, I'm so sorry." a friend came up, making Emma jump and snap out of it.

"He was a nice boy." Emma would hear another person say.

"After everything he's been through.." someone said sadly.

"After everything _they've _been through.." Emma felt it again, eyes on her.

"I heard his mother wants the ashes spread in Wasaga."

"That's not right, he basically grew up in Degrassi his whole life!"


	2. Say My Name

Emma cried again, though this time she was home, in her and Manny's apartment. Manny, Jay, Toby and Liberty had passed out on the couches in their TV room, and she could still hear the movie running so let herself really cry as she sat on the floor, hugging her knees.

Next to her was the framed photo Sean sent to her while away, and he was wearing his soldier suit, smiling proudly. The frame was now broken, glass everywhere, Emma had thrown it madly.

With knees pulled up and her arms around herself, she leaned her forehead down on her knees, crying hard but silently, and her eyes shut tight while tears streamed down

Her bedroom door opened slowly but with her sniffs, she didn't hear it, even if she was being as quiet as she could be, all the thoughts through her head were giving her a pounding headache.

The figure behind her bent down and their strong arms slowly but determined wrapped around her body, pulling her back into his chest. Jay.

She jumped when he did, but didn't even look back, knowing and remembering who held her like this before. She collapsed into his arms and the familiar hold, and he held tighter, resting his chin on the top of her head as she kept her eyes closed, crying and shaking.

Jay looked down beside her to the broken glass and sighed at the picture of Sean, then his eyes scanned to arm and saw the glass slit open a cut by her elbow.

"Stand up." he whispered soothingly into her ear.

Emma shook her head slowly no, as she continued to cry and choke. God she was a mess, she usually wouldn't let anyone see her this hysterical.

"Come on." he pleaded, seeing her blood spill down a little down her arm and winced a bit. She still wouldn't budge and he wrapped his one arm around her waist and one under her knees, "Come on baby." he whispered tenderly into her ear, her cries slowly died but her tears still ran and he carried her up and slowly walked toward her bathroom with her in his arms, he took such caution..like she was fragile.

Her bathroom light was on now, and her tear stained face cringed at the light but got use to it as she watched Jay at the corner of her eye, he opened her mirror cabinet above the sink.

As he tried to open a bandage up with his teeth, his one hand held peroxide and the other went to the tubs tap, turning it on as he leaned over Emma.

Emma whipped her nose with the back of her hand and snuffled once more as he finally ripped the bandage wrapper open and turned to her, bending down on one knee and his icy blue eyes gazed up into hers. Her eyes looked numb, but he saw SOME emotion looking back into his.

_**(Spectrum-Florence)  
And when we first came here  
we were cold and we were clear  
With no colors in our skin  
'Til we let the spectrum in**_

"This'll hurt a second." he warned, eyes still on hers intensely as he turned the peroxide bottle open.

With a cloth, he dipped some on that and then dabbed it on her elbow, while holding her arm with his hand and she winced and clenched the teeth, whimpering a bit. Her other hand also shot up onto his shoulder, squeezing it for support. Hmm, leaning on Jay Hogart again for support, funny how things happen..

"You're still a little baby." he teased, passing a smirk up to her then put the bandage on her, taping it up.

Emma bit her lower lip by the small pain and a small smile crept out until she frowned again. She glanced over her shoulder to the tub that was now almost filled.

She mumbled a bit, "What's the tub for?"

He stood up and chuckled a little, throwing the garbage out in a small trash and shrugged one shoulder, "Who doesn't enjoy a bubble bath?"

Big ol' bad Jay Hogart saying bubble bath..This time, Emma let the smile stay, and he shared that grin with her. He then noticed she gave him a look when he kept standing there, and he then blinked.

"Right." he said, going to the door and then came back in, grabbing a towel for her and resting it on the sink.

Emma gave a gentle laugh and watched him go to the door as she reached her arms back to unzip her dress but winced out loud.

He turned back when he heard that then noticed what the problem was. He coughed awkwardly, but walked back to her, and around as she slowly dropped her arms and crossed them a bit shyly._****_

Say my name  
And every color illuminates  
We are shining  
And we will never be afraid again

His fingers took hold of her zipper, and he licked his lips nervously.. wait, why nervous? Nothing he hadn't seen before.. him and Emma have had their share of fooling around in the past..

He slowly unzipped it and she bit her lower lip. He swallowed hard as he saw that tanned smooth skin show off to him and the toned back she had showed off the natural arch in it that it had and she gasped in softly when she felt his finger trace down it, then a few more finger tips were felt along her spine. She held in her shiver and shut her eyes softly.. he always gave her tingles. No wonder the girls loved him..

Girls..Manny! Emma's** best** friend! What was she doing?

Emma shut her eyes tight when from behind, his hands traced up now instead of down and to her shoulders, his hot unsteady breath against the back of her neck as he pulled down her dress from her shoulders. She wanted to say stop, but she wanted his touch more.

His eyes were shut too as he slid the dress off her, his head bent down a bit to take in the vanilla scent of her that he hadn't been really allowed to smell up close and personal for awhile.

The dress slid down to the floor, leaving her in her black lace matching bra and panties and Jay taking a sharp deep breath in. She was like a goddess. He almost painfully cringed, even tried to stop his hands from gripping her hips and pulling her beautiful body back against his. He wished he could stop, then wished he wasn't fully clothed right now.

_Come on, we've done this before... this is your best friends girl. It's wrong, isn't it?_

_**WAS your best friends girl. How long are we going to fight it and say no? Go ahead, say no to that body**_

Jay surrendered after that, letting her turn around to him and her big deer like brown eyes stared up into his, and he knew that look as he leaned down and captured her small lips into his needingly, sucking on them slowly but deeply, and cupping her face with one hand, and his other arm wrapping around her small waist. He slid his tongue against hers and she moaned into the kiss, her small fingers undoing the buttons on his shirt.

The two ended up both in the tub, and she leaned her back against his stomach, sitting between his legs as he laid back against the back of the tub. The water surrounded them. The water went halfway up her breasts, her knees bent up a bit as his legs laid flat.

His head bent down a bit, leaving trails of soft kisses along the side of her neck as he sat up a bit more, his hand moving around her hair and wrapped her hair around his fist as he tossed her head back playfully while he kissed her neck more hungrily, and bit it once or twice as she sighed and gripped her hands on his thighs when she shut her eyes in pleasure and he went hard.

Emma wanted it, _needed _it and she felt _**it **_against her back.. he definitely seemed like he wanted it just as bad too.

They sat on her bed now, in the dim light, and he sat on the end of her bed with his feet on the ground as she sat entirely on him, straddling him and he was inside her, moving deeply in and out as she whimpered and shook in delight as she went up and down on him. He groaned and tried to keep his eyes open with his hands gripping her tiny hips, his fingers leaving marks when he held on tightly and he'd watch the way she arched back when she always came near, and he'd lean his head down and flick his tounge against her nipple, making her cry out, but not too loudly since the others were in the other room.

_**Say my name  
As every color illuminates  
We are shining  
And we will never be afraid again**_

Emma had to admit, compared to any guy she's been with, or heard about.. Jay was the best when it came to this area. If only there was a class in highschool for sex.. he would of passed with flying colors.

She came back up to him, looking down at him as she guided up slowly, clenching his hardness inside her and then she impaled down on him and look up at him with passion and a small grin when he'd hiss and almost cum right there.

She learned a few things since their last little affair..

"You're a tease." he whispered huskily with clenched teeth, his now dark eyes staring into hers.

It was good to see her not crying anymore.. I mean maybe now she was crying out his name.. but that was different, better.

She gasped when he tightened his arms around her waist this time, her hands on his bare strong shoulders and he did the next thrust, sending his hardness deep up inside her and she cried out and he kissed her, muffeling her scream and she moaned into his mouth a moment later, wrapping her legs completely around his waist and feeling him slide out and she came right there, and after one more jerk, he came too, biting her lower lip and then her neck as he breathed in and out shakingly, trembling a bit until he stopped and tried to catch his breath with her.

They laid under her covers now, he laid on his back, his head turned toward her with her sheets around his waist, as she laid on her side, and head on her pillow while looking back at him with the sheet around her chest.

As Jay stared at her, he couldn't help but easily admit he'd rather a Emma than a Manny any day. I mean, him and Emma had more of a past but generally he meant..most guys back in highschool, and even now, they went for Manny cause yeah, she was a hottie, but she was also easy. Emma wasn't hot, Emma was beautiful, Emma was unique and different, and Emma is always about being a strong woman, you had to work to get Emma, she wasn't even a freckle of easy.. This would lead Emma to think a lot that she was a shadow when next to Manny.. the 'not so hot' friend, she didn't get it; she didn't get she was better and the boys who usually picked Manny would of picked her if she was just as easy and looking for someone to sweep her off her feet.. but Emma was too busy looking for reasons to help people.. or save dolphins.

Jay chuckled out loud to that thought and Emma who was drifting off, opened her eyes back up to him, "What?" she asked, giving him a silly look

He snapped out of it and just smirked, shrugging, "You're just.. something, Nelson."

Emma got lost in that smirk, see? That was the Hogart love spell. .

Jay then frowned, seeing that lost look in her eye and didn't understand that look was over him. He thought she had her mind on Sean again.

Well.. it's not like he thought their mind blowing sex would get her mind off it forever or make her move on or anything..but for some reason it was a small blow to his ego and something twisted in his stomach, and he found himself wishing she wasn't thinking of Sean. Little did he know..

He coughed, sitting up, "Manny might wake up.." he said, looking away from Emma and then grabbed his pants off the bed.

Emma felt a sting of, what was that? Rejection? Embarrassment? Heart ache? Little bit of all feelings at once?

She sat up, but stayed in bed as he got dressed and she made sure the blanket stayed wrapped around her naked body. She found her mouth was still hanging a bit in shock and closed it tight, swallowing down the hurt in her throat.

So that was just a fuck then? Nothing more?

"Wouldn't want that." Emma muttered, clenching her jaw and looking away from him as he slowly turned back to her, buttoning his shirt.

He opened his mouth and closed it, eyeing her. Jesus christ the way she could hide her emotions sometimes drove him crazy, and she looked away from him like none of this effected her.

Emma then looked back at him, connecting eyes and she had to admit, she felt a pinge of guilt, "She can't ever know," she looked around, "About this." what was she suppose to call it?

He narrowed his eyes at her as he walked to the door, "No problem." he simply said like it was not a big deal, and he tried not to slam the door behind him.

Emma sank back into her bed and sunk into the covers, depressed, and her heart breaking a little bit more than before. Was that possible?


	3. Let's Talk

"Waffles and peach juice." Manny said to Emma, laying a plate down on their kitchen table, "Your favorite!" she exclaimed happily.

It's been two weeks since.

Emma glanced at Manny and then the food as she brushed her hair into a high ponytail, Jay had stayed the night too..and no not with her this time, what a player, but with Manny, his **girlfriend**.. who still didn't know what happened that night between him and Emma. Emma guessed it was for the better, she never wanted to lose Manny.. specailly right now.

"You can stop making me my favorite meals, Manny." Emma teased, a small grin growing. She was starting to do that, knowing Manny and her mom really needed to see it, to make themselves feel better.

Manny declared slowly with a small shrug, "I want you to be happy."

From behind, Jay tossed the apple in his hand into his other before raising it up and taking a big bite of it, even Manny glanced back and gave him a look along with Emma.

Happy? Good luck trying to make THAT girl happy and content. Jay narrowed his eyes back at Emma before swallowing his apple down. He was back in his Hogart clothes, dark blue jeans and fitted black shirt, with backwards black hat.

"I'm fine." Emma insisted to Manny, removing her eyes off Jay while rolling her eyes at him. He's always been an ass but now he was directly trying to be one to her even when being silent...that was a new talent of his jerk-ness.

Manny tried to whisper, "It's only been three weeks, I'd understand if you weren't fine." she insisted.

Emma put down her brush and her eyes went a bit distant, she then grabbed her jacket off the table and slid out of the chair, "I'm _not_ fine if you keep _reminding _me." she didn't mean to snap but went around Manny and stormed to the front door.

"Em!" Manny called but the blonde slammed the door behind her.

Manny took a deep breath and ran ahand through her long dark hair, turning to Jay. Jay was focusing hard at the stem on his apple, twisting it with his fingers.

"Could it really be fine by now that he's gone?" Manny asked Jay, crossing her arms, "Are _you_ fine?" other than his cuts and split lip finally all healed, Manny couldn't say if she thought Jay was fine or not.. was that wierd she couldn't read her own boyfriend?

She damn well tried to..

Jay looked up and at her, glancing at the door Emma slammed after her and as he raised to take another bite of the apple, he paused to reply, "It'll never be _fine _that Sean's gone.. it'll just have to **be.**"

Manny opened her mouth but closed it and slowly nodded, made sense..

That night, Emma came home and threw her jacket down, hearing the tv on. Classes over at the college sucked today, it was all just review stuff.

She went to the tv room and saw Jay on the couch, on the far end, flicking through the channels but it's like he felt her walk in and stopped on whatever channel it stopped on when she stopped moving. He didn't even look at her.

"Is Manny home?" Emma asked as she looked around.

"Missed her." he commented back, trying to focus on whatever he landed on.

"Good.." Emma admitted outloud, taking a deep breath, she just needed some alone time.

She went to walk around the couch to go get a drink in the kitchen but he spoke up tauntingly, "Maybe you should show some appreciation to someone whose been trying to help you?"

Emma stopped in her tracks, her insides confused until turning in anger, she turned to the couch again and snapped, "I don't **need **any help."

"Fooled us." he taunted.

"Us?" Emma couldn't help but snicker, he meant him and Manny? Since when were they an 'us' and not the couple with the boyfriend who cheats on his girlfriend with her best friend?

Emma scoffed, letting it go and went to the kitchen, madly grabbing the cup. What a stupid awful couple, Emma always knew Jay wasn't for Manny, jerk.

_**(Alexz Johnson-Under my skin)  
Falling apart and all that I question  
Is this a dream or is this my lesson**_

_**Oh, he's under my skin  
Just give me something to get rid of him  
I've got a reason now to bury this alive  
Another little white lie**_

The next week, Emma nervously went through the closet at least a hundred times.

"Don't be so nervous." Manny teased Emma, going around her and grabbing something perfect in her closet, "There."

Emma raised an eyebrow, Manny was always great for that. She was going to Wasaga today, to help her mother see what was okay to throw out of Sean's.

Four weeks and his mother was already ready for that? ...

Manny tilted her head seeing Emma in her own little world again, "That look always scares me." she admitted.

Emma blinked and looked at her, softly smiling, "Sorry."

"You can talk to me you know?" Manny asked sadly, "We always use to talk about everything."

Emma looked down and played with her hands before sitting on her bed. They were alone, so why not finally kinda..talk?

"There's not much to say anymore Manny." Emma said gently, looking up to her best friend, "Sean is gone, a part of me is gone..and now I'm just Emma.. I'm trying to remember what that means." she admitted, pushing her eyebrows together in deep thought.

Manny smiled a little, seeing a bit of hope and sat down next to the blonde and put an arm around her, "You're Emma, environmentalist, crusader." she deepened her voice to mock Jay, "Tree hugger, Greenpeace."

Emma actually laughed at that, it was a good impression.

She nodded and put a piece of hair behind her ear... speaking of the devil, he was kind of right, Manny had been such good support.. she couldn't of done this without her.. which made Emma feel horrible again, remembering what she and Jay did.

"I love you, you know?" Emma said to Manny.

Manny giggled, leaning the side of her head against Emma's, "I love you too you little suck up." she teased.

Emma softly laughed and went serious, "Really though, I-" She paused but went on, "I wouldn't know what to do if I didn't have you."

Manny watched that numb look wash over Emma's face, and Emma thought about what if Manny found out.. did Manny love Jay?

"I'm late." Emma then said, noticing the time and Sean's mother was probably going to be waiting an extra 10 minutes for her arrival.

They stood up and shared a hug

"Emma! Come on in." the older lady smile brightly, opening the trailer door for Emma who stepped in.

Emma now wore a polka dot dress and her hair wavy. She tried to bare a smile but all the reminders of Sean came back when she looked around at the boxes around the entrance

"We got mostly everything." admitted Sean's father a bit shyly, feeling bad and knowing Emma wanted to help but she was a bit late.

Emma then stopped breathing when she was Tracker and he connected eyes with her to then nod, coughing awkwardly to break the silence.

"The boxes you might want are in his room." Tracker told her.

He looked at his parents to guide Emma but his Emma did what she did best since her youngest sons death..started to knit and sit on the couch in her own world and his dad kept busy, taping any parts of boxes to keep his mind off too.

"Come on." he surrendered, leading Emma to his room.

Emma bit her lower lip, looking through some boxes and seeing pictures of him and him with her, or their friends.

She swallowed hard, going through some objects as Tracker stood behind her, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and waiting.

"H-how are you?" Emma finally asked, tossing a look back to Tracker.

Tracker snickered, looking off in thought, "How am I?" he repeated.

Emma's blood ran cold.. he blamed her too didn't he?

Emma saw one picture that she wanted and grabbed it before she braced herself to turn.

"Honestly?" Tracker asked her and she tilted her head as he went on, "I feel like I lost **my own **kid."

Emma saw him fight tears and try to stay strong.

He nodded out the door where his parents were, "As you can tell, they never deal with things well... I raised Sean and- I-" he could barely talk.

Emma's shoulder dropped, feeling awful.

"I raised him, I schooled him, I put a roof over his head, I saw his first A." he looked at Emma and softened, "His first girl friend..."

Emma looked down at her hands and shifted in her spot..so that's why it hurt him to see her.

"Still so crazy you guys ended up back together." he told her, "Made me think he'd always be with you..which I guess I was right since you'll always be his last girl friend." he said it more bitterly then he intended.

Emma's heart dropped and she finally stepped forward, and she hugged him. He was a bit shocked, but hugged her back.

"How'd it go?" Manny asked, standing next to Liberty as they cooked on the stove.

"We're making some tacos!" Liberty announced happily to Emma who carried a box and smiled a little, Liberty said it like it'd cure world hunger.

"I'm not so hungry." Emma admitted but caught Manny's alarmed look.

Gees, it's not like she was going to go annoxeric.

"But I'll have a little." Emma added, giving Manny a 'calm down' look and Manny just happily smiling, dimples shining.

"Ugh, I needed a girls night." Liberty said, now sitting on the couch with the two girls and watching Titanic.

Emma giggled a little, what a random night. She bit into her taco.


	4. The Secrets We Keep

It's been a few days since the visit to Sean's, that meant it's been a month, a month now Sean had been gone.

Emma came into the kitchen, wrinkling her nose to the smell in the air. Burgers, meat...gross.

"Yum!" Manny said, delighted that Jay was making them on the stove, "My favorite, put some cheese on it please?" she leaned up and kissed his cheek.

Emma rolled her eyes hearing Manny, even thought she whispered..but not well enough.

"You know the way I like it." Manny whispered to Jay and giggled, jumping back and then yelped, seeing Emma who raised an eyebrow and went to the fridge, "Em! Want a burger?" she asked, blushing that Emma may of heard that.

Jay narrowed his eyes but flipped his meaty burger knowing full well Emma didn't like meat..and so did Manny..so what was that about?

Manny shook her head, reality coming back, "Nevermind." she slapped Jay's arm playfully, "Make Emma a veggie burger."

Emma put her purse over her shoulder, watching Jay's jaw shift a bit and sighed, "Not hungry." she lied. Actually, she was starving..she was finally working up an appetite. By the way, why was he being mean to HER? She should be upset with him! Cheating on her best friend, making HER feel like a slut and not good enough. wait, not good enough for what?

"Oh my god!" Manny shrieked, watching Emma pick up their business book, "I forgot we had class today!" she ran to her room.

Emma raised her eyebrows and went to walk to the door to then abruptly stop and turn, "Actually," she said to Jay, reaching into her purse, "I wanted to give you something."

Jay narrowed his eyes, his hard look finally letting a bit of guard down when she held out a picture frame to him.

"It was at Sean's house. Looks oldish." she said with a small smile, hoping he'd take the joke.

He looked like he tried to fight it, but a smirk crept in, taking the photo and leaned back on the kitchen counter as the burgers cooked.

A picture of Sean and Jay that Alex took when they were in auto class back in highschool. Sean wearing that stupid bandana around his head and wearing a muscle shirt, and Jay with that stupid baggy black jacket and chain necklace.. this was for sure years ago. Probably the first year they met.

Emma's chest tingled a bit, and she smiled to his grin, "I don't get a thankyou?" she teased. Yeah maybe things have been bad lately but she missed the teasing that wasn't supposed to be mean but infact maybe a bit of flirting, in a twisted nobody but them understood it was flirting, kind of way.

"Thanks." and Jay meant it, connecting eyes with her and giving her a brush of a nod and she nodded back, crossing her arms and then turned, walking out the door.

Now, about that business class, well, Manny thought pop quizzes was just for highschool..but she was wrong..but on her test, she was mostly all right.

"85%! Do you know how amazing this is?!" Manny asked in shock, walking out of class with Liberty and Emma.

Emma giggled shaking her head, she got 100% but she won't rain on Manny's parade.

Liberty did though, "Beat 98%." she confirmed.

Emma raised an eyebrow, wow.. trying to put all your energy into studying had really helped her I mean, she was always a great student..but better than Liberty on a test!?

"This calls for a party." Manny simply stated, like this was the only answer.

Emma rolled her eyes but smiled and nodded, agreeing. Sure, why not?

Music banged around the apartment and Emma found it hard to escape into her own room.

"Scuse me." Emma said to some people and did a double back..did Manny even know some of these people?!

Emma took a deep breath finally getting into her room, and shut it behind her, closing her eyes. Since the funeral of Sean's, guess it's been awhile since she's truly socialized with a lot of people.

Emma braced herself to turn and open the door, she needed to do this.

"Time to party." she muttered to herself and flew her door open to go back out and jumped back a bit when Jay was at her door and squished by, closing the door behind them, "What are you doing?" Emma asked and coughed a bit, noticing her voice a bit nervous.

Her, plus Jay, plus bedroom..never good.

"I need a minute." he just declared, growling a bit, but for once it didn't seem like he was mad at her as he paced around.

"Why not go to Manny's room?" Emma carefully asked, putting her hands on her hips.

"Cause Jane and Spinner are humping like rabbits in there, if you really wanna know." taunted Jay to then lift an eyebrow at her.

Emma flushed and looked away, "0-oh." she waited impatiently for Jay to leave.

Jay smirked a bit and then sighed, sitting on the edge of her bed. Oh woah, maybe too soon? This was after all where they... He coughed and stood back up and Emma wanted to die, knowing exactly what he was thinking.

"So uh.." Jay drifted off, "What are you doing in here?"

Emma looked slowly back at her door, fearing what's outside it, "Honestly I feel better in here right now than out there." she admitted.

He gave her an unreadable look. Great, another one.

But he finally spoke to explain what he was thinking, "I know what you mean." he said and then raised an amused eyebrow up when she giggled, "Something funny Greenpeace?"

"You're Jay Hogart, you like parties, you live for them." she rolled her eyes.

He smirked but clenched his jaw and shrugged, "You still don't know everything about me like you think, Nelson."

"Well **Hogart**, I hope your right." Emma teased and actually smiled.

"I say we get some booze and just have the party in here." he says and noticed the blonde look skeptical, "Totally innocent." he promised with a chuckle while walking to the door but stopped and turned, that classic smirk upon his lips, "Unless you're up for a little frisky buisness." he grinned after that, to show he was joking but didn't mind it.

"Doubtful." Emma taunted him back, "But I'm down for some one on one drinking." she agreed.

He nodded and opened the door and she followed after him to go grab some booze.

"Jay!" came Manny's worried hectic voice, Jay and Emma stopped beside another and turned to her. Manny did a double back seeing the two alone together.

That was wierd.

He snapped her out of it when he greeted back, "Dimples."

Emma winced a bit, for some reasons she hated when Jay spoke of Manny's nickname. Nicknames were suppose to be THEIR thing wasn't it?

"Have you been drinking?" Manny whispered, looking around so the party people wouldn't hear.

Emma glanced back to Jay... she heard about the 'drinking and driving' but really? It was a rough time.. it wasn't like he was an addict.

"I had one beer.." Jay drifted off annoyed, clenching his jaw at Manny and giving her a look to stop.

"Jay you promised." she whined, shaking her head at him.

His next reply even suprized Emma, "Manny, back off." he snapped, clenching his teeth. He hated being reminded of that night... nobody understood.

"Give me your keys." Manny forcefuly said and even Emma opened her mouth but decided it was best to shut it.. but, really? She even thought Manny was going too far.

"Fine! Take them!" he dug into his pocket and tossed them at her, storming around and cursing, "Fucking Christ." he even left Emma, and stormed out the door.

Emma watched him til out of site and even though she wanted to leave as well, she looked back to Manny, "What was that?" she asked.

"Em, he almost **died **in that car crash."

Emma sighed, she understood that but, "He was lucky, only a few cuts and brusies. I think he learned his lesson...it's been a few weeks." she shrugged.

Manny angered a little, who the hell was Emma to tell her how HER boyfriend was fine? She'd know!

"I don't want him driving drunk again and hit someone this time." Manny bickered at her friend.

Emma shut her eyes tight and took a breather, getting just as angry, what was with everyone thinking they knew how someone else was going to react?! Jay said he was fine, and he was! Until Manny pushed him over the edge.

"We weren't going to leave! We were just getting drinks!" Emma yelled at Manny.

Manny eyed Emma and then put her hands on her hips, "We?" she repeated, glancing out the door where Jay left and then to Emma, since when did Emma stick up for Jay? "You and him, together?"

Emma's mouth opened, trying to form words to explain it was innocent, "Manny." she said in a huff, but gave up. What was the use? Even if it was innocent, they have done something behind her back.

"Well it's a little odd, don't you think? One moment you guys are down anothers throats, the other, you're trying to be alone. Side by side."

"It's not like that!" Emma exclaimed.

"Then what is it?!" Manny snapped back, "Do you still have some sick twisted _thing _for **my **boyfriend?"

Emma fumed, Manny would never understand what that THING between her and Jay was, but it was a hell of a lot stronger then what was between him and Manny, and it wasn't sick, it was supportive and-

Emma then looked away from Manny, trying not to fight with her over Jay. Manny was right, he was HER boyfriend..that said something didn't it? But Manny saw the look that crossed over Emma's face, and Emma guessed Manny knew her better than even herself because hurt washed over her own face.

"Does _he_ still have some** thing** for you?" Manny's voice cracked, tilting her head curiously at Emma and waiting desperately for a reply.

Emma couldn't breath nor speak, so she tried shaking her head no.

Manny laughed bitterly, storming past her, "We were best friends, Emma, I can tell when you're lying." and with that, she stormed out of the door Jay went out of

Were?

Emma's heart stopped and she looked around, and she looked broken, once again. Oh god, she didn't... it was supposed.. oh shit she was going after Jay!

"Manny!" Emma ran after her but the elevator closed so Emma raced down the stairs. When she slammed the exit door open to the front, Manny had already gotten to Jay who looked like he had been trying to have a smoke.

Manny was in tears and punched his chest repeatingly as she cried, "Do you still want _her_?! You didn't get enough the last time?!"

Jay heard the door open and Manny did as well, turning her head as he grabbed her wrists to stop her from hitting more and they both stared at Emma whose whole world stopped.

What did she do? Why was she always messing with peoples lives?

"I-I'm sorry." Emma stuttered and went to turn to go back in but Manny got loose from Jay and went after her.

"No! We are TALKING about this." Manny grabbed Emma's hand as Jay tried to grab hers.

"Manny stop!"

"Don't touch me!" Manny whirled around, still holding Emma but by the arm now, she looked so torn apart, "Do you.." she glanced back at Emma, "Or do you not have.._feelings _for another?"

Emma looked at Jay helplessly, if she did or didn't, there was no way in explaining what the hell she and Jay Hogart were.

Jay stared at Emma for a moment with an unreadable look and even Manny choked up, waiting for that 'yes'.

"No." he said, never letting his eyes off of Emma.

This time, Emma choked up and Manny relaxed, and looked at Emma. Emma blinked and tried to put her best assuring face on, "I don't, Manny." she told her

Manny blinked.. she didn't expect that, and she stared down at the ground for a moment. Maybe Manny believed it, or maybe she went into denial.

"Oh my god." Manny said with a groan, running her fingers through her hair and pulling it a bit before she let go, "Wow, I just went coco bannanas." she tried to laugh it off but they stayed serious.

Jay finally looked away from Emma as she looked down at the ground.

"i-I'm really sorry, this is just awkward." Manny informed, looking at Emma sadly, "I just.. I'm use to the cheating you know?" she put a small smile on.

Emma could barely look Manny in the eyes when she said that and Jay took a deep breath, scratching the back of his neck.

"Let's forget this." Manny pleaded, looking at Jay more now and giving him a 'forgive me' look as she went over to him, putting her hands on his jaw line.

Emma looked away from them and tried to slip away as quietly as she could. When she was in the stair case again, she sat down on the steps and finally let out the breath she was holding, her hands holding her chest again as she tried to catch her breath.

_**The secrets you give  
And the secrets you keep  
And nevertheless  
It's never you let  
The more that I give  
And the less that I get  
Don't tell me to fight,  
To fight for you  
After this long, I shouldn't have to**_

I know you're fine, but what do I do?  
I know you're fine, but what do I do?

(Fallout-marianas trench)


	5. We're Casual

When Emma went back up, she tried to end the party with the help of Toby and Liberty and when the last people were going, Manny finally came back in for what seemed forever.

She looked like the conversation with Jay after, didn't seem so good. Emma's heart stopped, did he tell her about them?

"Manny?" Liberty tries to catch her attention.

Manny sat down numbly on the couch and Emma walked around it, giving her best friend a concerned look.

"We broke up." Manny announced.

Emma jumped when she noticed she let go of the broom she held and it wacked onto the floor. She blinked and tried to ignore it, and the odd stares from Lib and Toby. She sat down next to Manny who looked at her with tears in her eyes

"I-I think he's just still upset you know? About Sean.." she drifts off, crying, looking for a reason why another guy wouldn't love her.

Emma painfully watched her friends break down and pulled her into a hug.

"He's not thinking clearly." Manny insisted, hugging Emma back tightly, "He still wants to be with me right?"

Emma frowned deeply and pulled away when Manny went whipping her tears with her fingers.

Liberty went and sat down on the other side of Manny, and Toby gave a slight wave as he left quietly to give the girls the talk they needed.

Manny looked at Liberty sadly, "I still want to be with him." Jay may not be Prince Charming, but he gave the charming smiles and witty remarks.. he was irresistable.

"You want to be with _somebody_." Liberty corrected Manny, putting a hand on her shoulder and frowning "You really think you and Jay would of settled down? Lasted more years and maybe planned a real wedding?"

"I.." Manny drifted off, maybe not..but she didn't expect it to end so soon... and with such a wierd excuse.

"What'd he say?" Emma blurted out, curiously.

Manny looked back at her and then away, reminding herself what he said, "That he couldn't do a relationship right now, that I was moving too fast.. and he.."

"He what?" Liberty asked softly.

"I asked him if he loved me and he said no." Manny cried, putting her face into her hands to cry again.

Emma's mouth dropped and she shared a look with Liberty. He didn't love her?

Liberty tried desperately to make Manny feel better, "then screw him Manula, it's Jay Hogart, he's not the brightest tool in the shed. If he doesn't want you then he's crazy."

"I knew he didn't change." cried Manny, "He's still the scumbag player he's always been."

"I-I'm gonna go get her some tissues." Lied Emma, needing to escape from this and got off the couch, quickly walking to her room and shut the door swiftly behind her as she leaned back on it and breathed heavily.

What was going on with her?!

Emma found Jay exactly where she thought she would the next weekend, she had to give it time, or it'd look weird

It was after close and he sat on a truck he was working on, staring at the ground and sipping his beer.

"Nothing like getting drunk to mend the heart." Emma teased, trying to lighten the mood when he looked up and saw her. I mean, he should be mad right? It was her fault Manny went crazy.

Jay actually snickered, for the irony she brought up, but..she wouldn't get it.

"what are you doing here?" he asked her, jumping off the hood of the truck he sat on and grabbed another beer.

He cracked it open and offered her one, she shook her head no.

He smirked, shrugged, "You were up for it before." he taunted, taking a sip and looking around the empty shop.

Emma glared a bit, but moved on.

"Sorry about..what happened." she confirmed.

He eyed her, tilting his head abit, "Why? It was my choice to break it off."

"Because you felt guilty?" she asked.

"Something like that." he calmly replied with and nodded out the garage, "It's late, you need a ride home?"

"I don't think Manny would like that." Emma admitted with a soft sorry laugh.

"Another secret we can share?" he offered tauntingly, rolling his eyes.

Emma sighed, agreeing, "I'm tired of secrets.."

"Makes two of us." he confirms, throwing his hat off and onto his desk before standing infront of her, "So let me take you out." his eyes burned into hers and her mouth dropped.

"Excuse me?" Emma asked, needing to hear it one more time or it wasn't real.

"Said that out loud huh?" he asked with a sheepish smirk but shrugged. She heard him.

"You wanna.." Emma drifted off, losing her words until she finally squeeked out, "..date?" Jay Hogart wanted to have a _relationship_ with **her**? Date **he**r? And everyone would know? No more secrets..

"I don't date." Jay suddenly blurted, eyes a bit wide and he then coughed awkwardly.

But he just dated Manny? Wow.. already starting off great. Emma shifted in her spot uncomfortably, crossing her arms and waiting for him to explain.

"Just casual." he explains.

"Casual?" she repeats, a bit taken back by this and he grinned, seeing that as she was repeating everything he said and giving him a look of doubt.

"Like old times." he confirms and her eyes widened, "Minus the disease ad cheating." he informed, putting a finger up, "Just...fun." he assured, eyeing her closely.

"But if it's casual, we can see whoever we want." she confirms, but it came out kind of like a question.

He nodded, "right." he reminded her, "But you're still getting over Sean.." he insisted

"And you with Manny." Emma declared.

He blinked but then shrugged, "Right." he turned away from her, grabbing his car keys, "so for now we'll just..have fun with only another." he coughed lightly, "Til we're both..over that."

Emma was a bit lost in thought, thinking this all through. It couldn't hurt, really, it couldn't, if they weren't REALLY dating, it wouldn't be that hard, no expectations, no stupid couple fights.. so he couldn't really fully hurt her when she knew the rules.

She nodded, "Fine, casual." she agreed and he raised an eyebrow, almost shocked she was agreeing to this so simply, she then looked shy, "I don't know what to do now."

"That's cool Nelson," he teased, reminding her their number one rule, "Cause we don't have expectations."

"Cause we're casual." Emma agreed, smiling more now too back at him as he leaned down and cupped her face.

"I'm gonna _casually_ kiss you." he mummered near her lips and glanced at the office, "Then I'm going to casually take you to my boss' office and _casually _**fuck **you." he huskily whispered before passionately kissing her as she moaned to his kiss and his words, he always made her feel so turned on. She loved the way this felt.

And they did exactly that, and he ripped at her shirt as she laid down on her back on his boss' desk, unbuckling his pants and leaned up to help him remove her shirt.

He laid above her and came back down after tossing her shirt away, slipping his tounge into her mouth and pushing his against hers playfully as his hands pressed against her perfect C breasts and gripped them, then roamed down to her skirt, shoving it up and she screamed his name when he pushed inside of her with his thickness.

Her eyes were wide and he paused, letting her get use to the size again, he smirked and she gave him that annoyed look yet bit her lip and had to hand it to him, if she was a boy she bet she'd be proud she was a_ big_ boy too. She bit her lower lip to how good he felt and cupped his beautiful face into her hands as she stared back into his eyes and nodded, and he began to thrust in and out of her slowly until it went faster and after a few moments, it turned animalistic and she scratched at his back, begging to come as she pushed her hips into his just as roughly and he sweat over her, breathing heavily and bent his head, sucking her hard nipple into his mouth and biting playfully and let go, to lick it playfully again so he could hear her scream his name

She was seeing stars.

Casual was good.


	6. A Year Later

A YEAR LATER

Emma rolled onto her back, breathing heavily and panted as she tried to catch her breath and giggled a bit, her face flushed.

After so long and he could still make her come like an animal.

Jay appeared over her, that smug face smirking before her as he leaned down and kissed her deeply, his thumb on one side of her cheek and his fingers gripping the other. She closed her eyes and passionately kissed him back and they pulled away for Jay to stand up and look around for his shirt

"So that's what I get for being away two weeks?" Emma teased, sitting up in bed and wrapping her sheets around her chest, cuddling it.

He chuckled while looking down at his pants and buckled up his belt, "You want more?" he teased back, looking over at her and raised a cheeky eyebrow.

She was still flushed so her blush was easily seen and he laughed, seeing his shirt right near her knees and bent over, kissing her once more before he grabbed it and threw it over his head.

"See you tomorrow." she said satisfyingly. This casual relationship had been really working well for a year now. They had small fights now and then, but they just had to remember they weren't dating.. so he never had to apoligise for being a jerk and she never for being stubborn.

"What are you doing tonight?" he asked curiously.

She shrugged, looking off as she thought about her plans, "Meeting Manny's new boyfriend."

"Another one?" he taunted and his devil smirk turned into a grin at her playful glare.

She answered, "We know him though." she cringed though, "We just actually have to meet up and get along."

"Who is it?"

"Lucas Vaughn, Jane's brother. Mia's ex, Isabellas father.." Emma drifted, all she really knew about the guy but Manny had stars in her eyes whenever she spoke of him. Maybe this one would last.

"Met him once, not so bad." admitted Jay, seeing the concern in Emma's tone.

Emma's eyes rolled while she smiled, "Course you met him, back in highschool it was like a bad boys duty to know other bad boys at other schools."

"Lakehurst right?" joked Jay

Emma nodded with a giggle and then shrugged her shoulders slowly as she offered, "You could come."

"I could?" he repeated, eyeing her skeptically. It wasn't like everyone knew about their hook ups, but some people got the vibe, just never questioned it. Even Manny was starting to see it.. she was over Jay though, it'd been a year and after a few weeks with their break up, she noticed she didn't really miss him. THey were just two people with two bad repuations who enjoyed anothers company for a while. Now they were adults.. they could start a new lift; just wasn't meant with another.

"Spinners coming with Jane and her cousin, and Lucas was going to bring a few of his friends..and I'm sure if Manny invited me, she invited Manny and Darcy too." she explained.

"Darcy and Spinner in the same room since highschool huh?" Jay asked, a little entertained by the thought of seeing that.. Miss old bible thumper who use to make his friend believe in God. .funny what tits could do.. hypnotizing people and all.

"It's been years, he's clearly moved on with Jane and she's bringing a date too." Emma replied

"You got a date?" he asked her, eyes glancing at her and grabbing his car keys from the table and looked back at her again.

"No." she confirmed carefully, narrowing her eyes at him.

He looked out of her window looking as if it wasn't a big deal and shrugged, "Maybe I'll go. I'll call Spinner later." he confirms, turning back to her.

She tried to hide her smile and just nodded as he leaned over her and kissed her once more as he mummered goodbye against her lips but then got lost in the kiss with her.

She sighed and his lips sucked deeply onto hers, and he held the back of her head as she raised up on her knees a bit more to kiss him just as hard and his other hand slowly pulled the sheets off her, showing off her beautiful naked body and his finger tips swayed down her belly, passed her belly button and to her-

Emma gasped and her mouth dropped but he continued to kiss her and bit her lower lip softly before she kissed him back and his fingers worked inside of her.

"Jay." she moaned and he groaned to that, working his fingers deeper and she shut her eyes tight.

_Knock knock_

Emma jumped back from Jay breathlessly but he smirked, fingers still inside of her and twisting them as her mouth dropped in pleasure and her hands on his shoulders.

"Em come on!" came Manny's voice on the other side of the door, unaware of what was going on inside, "You said we could go shopping today."

"Be right out!" Emma called back in a cracky voice and whimper. She's already reached climax twice this morning and here she goes again.. Jesus Jay was a sex God.

She tensed up and he pushed a few times more until she squeeked a bit and shut her eyes tight, her walls tightening and her naked body shivered under against his fully clothed one.

He really did only tend to her needs sometimes, she deeply appreciated.

She opened her eyes to again his smug face and he rubbed her calming heatness once more before removing his hand and smirked at her, "Now there was your punishment for going away for two weeks and not telling me."

Emma's university environment class had a random trip to Vancouver that she didn't think she'd go to, but her lab partner Kelly paid for her so she'd get the extra marks that he insisted they 'needed' together and that the trip gave if you went on it. Later she found out it was just so he could make a move on her, he was a sweet guy, and they had a nice time, and he admitted he liked her but she wasn't ready and explained to him that.

And as much Emma believed Jay was 'punishing her' for leaving him high and dry for two weeks with no notice, it was really the fact that he saw who she was on this trip with, all over her facebook page with pictures, this Kelly guy had really crawled under his skin and he had to make sure he made Emma remember when she came home just who made her satisfied at night. . and morning.. sometimes in between lunch; you get the idea, Jay did..and boy did she remember and didn't forget, even some nights away she wished she brought him along.

"Have fun shopping." he huskily said while opening her bedroom door and snuck out.

Emma sat there, legs feeling tingly as her head still seeing stars and she lazily grinned, til blinking and remembering she was fully naked and grabbed the sheets back up.

Before Jay quietly snuck to the front door, he heard a voice behind him.

"Shoulda snuck out her window." Manny stood behind him holding her coffee mug and one hand on her hips.

He shut his eyes tight and braced himself to turn, trying to show a unreadable look.

"We were just.." he drifted off, looking for a reason.

"Banging another once again?" taunted Manny, raising an eyebrow and rolled her eyes after, "When are you two going to stop lying to yourselves about how you feel for one another?"

Jay stood there, in awe and in shock she knew, "Meaning?" he asked, playing coy.

"Your more into her than you lead on." confirms Manny, without a pause

"Has she said something?" Jay asked curiously, glancing at Emma's now closed bedroom door

"Like if she's into you more than she shows?" asked Manny and saw his slight nod and she snorted, "You know Emma."

Jay nodded, yes he did, and she was stubborn as hell.

He spoke up again, "I'm confused, you knew there was something this whole time yet you acted dumb?"

"I acted smart." corrected Manny, glaring a bit, "You're still not my favorite person in the world Jay and I want to forget we ever dated.. you aren't good to girls yet with Emma.." she stopped herself from admitting out loud that he was good for her, she sighed heavily, "I should care, that you two lied..but she was getting over the loss of Sean and she was still my best friend. Guess in a way you were hers first."

"Hers, huh?" repeated Jay, yet liked the sound of it.

She walked a bit closer to him and eyed him suspiciously, "Is Jay Hogart inlove?"

"Jay Hogarts.." he looked up at the cieling looking for the perfect word without any questions, "Satisfied." he smirked.

She rolled her eyes smiling, "Can't take the Hogart out of the man." he watched her turn away and found himself glancing longingly at Emma's door.

"See yeah tonight." he said, before opening the door slowly and dragged himself out.

Her words haunted his head.


	7. Whose Going Home With You Tonight

"Hey Baby." Lucas greeted Manny, swinging his very built arm around her slim waist and kissing her cheek.

She smiled with dimples and hung onto him as she pointed from him to Emma, "You know Emma, but now you can be properly introduced." she confirmed

Emma smiled slightly to Lucas who nodded in greetment at her, "Degrassi's old crusader, how could I forget?" he teased.

"Two years after Graduation and I'm still remembered as that." joked Emma.

They were at the Dot, and since Spinner owned it now, he held the party, and he drank heavily with Jay and his girl Jane.

Jay rested his shot glass down and just noticed Emma was here when Spinner spoke up, "Man you have to meet Jane's cousin." he told him.

Jay snapped out of it and looked to his buddy, "What?"

Spinner gave him a wierd look, clearly Spinner was one of the people who didn't get the vibes Jay was already in a..casual _thing _with someone.

"Blonde haired, pierced, tattooed babe." Spinner told him, earning a slap in the arm hard from Jane.

"watch it." she snapped, "That's my cousin and your MY boyfriend."

"Just saying it's his type." Spinner explained to her.

Jay wasn't so sure if that was his type anymore as he glanced once more at Emma on the other side of the room and she just noticed him too, sharing a look for a moment before Jane's squeel broke his attention away.

"Here she is! Bree!" she called over a girl.

Jay turned and yah, Spinner was right, the girl was a babe..so why was his eyes going back to Nelson all the time?

"Hi." Bree greeted happily to her cousin and Spinner and did a double take at Jay. Wow he was goregous, "I'm Bree." she put her hand out.

He tried to put full attention on her and nodded, shaking her hand, "Jay."

"Jay." she purred back, liking the sound of that. Her hair was longer than Emma's, but she wasn't as model like tall like Emma. And Emma had brown sparkly warm eyes as this girl had blue ones-

Jay grabbed another beer. He was compairing her too much to another girl he wasn't even **dating.**

"You live here?" Jay asked her.

"Visiting but looking into colleges. You go to any?" she asked, and both guys sort of chuckled.

"Me and Jay weren't the college type." Spinner explained.

Jane rolled her eyes, her boyfriend made himself sound bad, "Meaning they got lucky and Spinner got an offer to run this place and Jay is almost ready to own the auto shop he works at." she said.

Bree looked impressed and she eyed Jay, trying to keep the conversation going, he was hottie.

Over with the other group, Emma rolled her eyes in annoyance to the non stop kissing between Lucas and Manny. Why was she even going to talk to them if their mouths were too busy down anothers throats?

And how come Jay hadn't come over? And how come he was talking to some slut? And how-

"Emma, you made it." she heard a voice and turned.

Kellie.

Emma smiled politely, "Why wouldn't I be here?" she teased, "Why are you here!"

"Manny invited me." he confirmed, and looked to Manny to blink and gave an impressed look to Emma for how long this new couple could go without breathing.

Emmma laughed and got back to their conversation, "how nice." from behind him, she looked over his shoulder to still see Jay and this girl talking.

"Drink?" Kellie asked and she snapped her eyes back into his.

"Sure." she said rather quickly and smiled more, walking with him to the counter.

"And then I have this little guy." Bree was talking with Jay even an hour later, and lifted her shirt a bit to reveal her rose tattoo by her belly botton.

Jay took a swig of his beer and just nodded, he got it, she had tons of tattoos. Congradulations

"Any idea where Spinner went?" Jay asked her, looking around the party but his eyes wondering for something else

"Think he went home with Jane." she said with a smirk, and crossed her arms, "Are you...going home with anybody?" she slowly and carefully asked, narrowing her eyes smolder like at him.

He opened his mouth and paused, his eyes finally falling on the other blonde on his mind and she leaned on the Dots wall, and that shit head Kellie was talking with her, his arm leaning beside her on the wall she leaned on.

"Doesn't seem so." he noticed himself seem to sneer.

Bree bit her lip seductively and smiled, her fingers falling down his arm to try and hold his hand, "Well you got a volunteer over here if you want one." she glanced to the corner, "I'm just going to go freshen up and I'll be right back." she walked to the bathroom.

As she walked over, she walked by the other two, Kellie and Emma, and Emma's eyes caught her walk by.

"Be right back." Emma said, cutting him off and seemed to walk off without another word.

Kellie blinked, wondering where she was going in such a hurry.

When Emma opened the bathroom door, Bree was powdering her nose. Really? Make up? Girl already looked the type who didn't care about how it was tested on animals..or made your skin unhealthy..she was no good.

"Hi." Bree said, noticing the stare and giggled a bit, "You need some?" she asked, turning and offering her make up.

"Oh uh." Emma shook her head, wow, had she really followed this girl into the bathroom? Phyco much? "Mascara? If you have any?" Emma asked, it was really the only thing she wore so..

Bree smiled kindly though and offered one and Emma took a step forward, taking it.

The two stood beside another and Emma had to admit, the girl was being a sweetheart.

"So, you going home with anyone tonight?" Bree asked with a playful smirk, "Lotta hot guys out there."

"Yeah." Emma laughed softly, turning the mascara closed. She played with it in her hands and coughed awkwardly, "Probably just go home myself though. You?" she tilted her head curiously.

"Talking to this really hot guy all night." Bree told her and sat up on the sink, "I think he's the hottest one here tonight, I got lucky now I'm literally going to get lucky." she laughed.

Emma nodded slowly, Jay, she was going home with Jay. She looked down at the tool in her hands before blinking and snapping out of it, passing it back to Bree.

"Well, you're really pretty soo..." Emma drifted off, it was a give in Jay would want to sleep with this girl.

Over the year of messing around, Emma was told by Jay he went out with only one girl and now here was another. She's dated what? Zero. God, Emma felt so behind..

"Well look at you! You're stunning. How are you even single?" Bree asked in shock.

Emma sadly laughed and shrugged, "My last..boyfriend.. Sean.." Emma drifted off, taking a deep shakey breath, "He died a year ago last month."

"Oh my god." Bree covered her mouth for a moment, "I'm so sorry." she jumped down from the sink.

"No it's okay." Emma shook her head, she shouldn't of brought it up. She was actually..Okay.

On his anniversary of his death Emma had actually just wanted to be alone, yet sure enough the only one who understood it wasn't what she _needed _was Liberty.. Liberty had gone through this with J.T and she showed Emma the best way in dealing with the anniversary of an old loves death..lots of food and binge eating, crying whenever you had to let it out, and visiting puppes at a pet store (it made you feel better).

Then that night she actually showed up at Jay's, and there was no sex, he understood she just needed someone there and they sat together eating more ice cream and watching his series of Dexter.

Emma was staring off into space as Bree softened, feeling sorry she brought this up and Emma then snapped out of it, "I'm going to go." EMma confirmed, feeling embrassed and turned, to turn back, "Thanks..for the make up." she said and walked back out.

Damn it, the girl was actually nice.

Emma exited the bathroom to turn and yelp, bumping into a hard body and balanced herself as Jay Hogart looked down at her and crossed his arms.

"Where've you been all night?" he asked.

Emma looked away from him, putting her hands on her hips, "why's it matter?" she then noticed herself mumbling and probably seemed like she was pouting. Why would she be pouting? "When'd you get here?" she asked, acting like she hadn't seen him here from the start.

He gave a wierd look, insisting they shared a look?

He coughed awkwardly, "Doesn't matter." he offered back, "I'm leaving now." his eyes looked, angry? Was he mad at her?

No, he was probably annoyed, Emma was convinced he was probably thinking she was cock blocking him from his new precious play toy.

"Well, night then." she said, going to walk off until she felt his hand wrap around her wrist and gasped a little turning.

His eyes could look so dark even thought they were a icy blue, and after he stared for a moment seriously down at her, he glanced beyond her to Kellie, "You going home with him or what?" he asked with a tone of no fucking around.

Emma swallowed hard, but glared up at him, how dare he!? Like it was her CHOICE or something when she already knew he had plans to go home and fuck someone else.

"Yes." she lied, yanking her hand back just as Bree walked out of the bathroom and Jay's eyes were cold on Emma.

Emma stepped back as Bree smiled, walking over, "Oh wow, do you two know another?" she asked, looking between them.

Emma tried to hide her emotions and resisted rolling her eyes, and Jay finally looked away from her but not at Bree, his emotions getting the better of him.

"Old friends." he said bitterly.

Emma swallowed her bitter laugh and went to leave but swallowed her pride down. They were casual.. she couldn't be mad.

"Have a good night." she simply said, walking off.

"Emma." Jay's voice said sternly and loudly but she walked away and he stood there, clenching his jaw but looked back at Bree when she put her hand on his arm.

"Taking me up on my offer?" she asked.

He sighed, and went into deep thought as he looked back Emma's way and Bree must of noticed that.

"Poor girl.. if you're old friends you probably know about her old boyfriend that passed away." Bree said sadly, "Shane, or something...were you friends?"

"Sean." Jay said a bit madly, almost like fighting for his friends honor and no one had the right to get his name wrong.

She softened, noticing Jay's close vibe to the guy, "Sorry.. just saying, she still looks heartbroken and confused when she was in there with me." she looked back to the bathroom.

Jay seemed to distant himself as he was told that, and he stared off. Really? Was he too blinde to see Emma was still hurting? How could he miss that..

"She had this lost look in her eye" Bree told him, "I felt so bad for bringing it up."

"I forgot I need to go to a friends." Jay blurted out, narrowing his eyes at her and cursed under his breath. Why? WHY was he doign this to himself and his little buddy in his pants?

"You're rejecting me." but as she said it, there was a twinkle in her eye, like she was turned on by it.

He snickered and kept his smirk, "Guess so." he admitted, shocked at himself.

"Can I Ask why?" she questions, crossing her arms.

He dug his hand into his pockets, grabbing his car keys, "Guess I'm fucking crazy." he admitted with a chuckle and she smirked but nodded, taking that answer.

Jay was now in his orange civic, driving through the night and passed the green lights, on his usual path he drove. He pulled up to the apartment building and got out.

Emma opened her front door to see him standing there and she was already in her white tank top and silly pink pajama pants with lambs on them.

He sighed, connecting eyes with her and sharing a moment as she crossed her arms and looked inside before nodding and took his hand.

_**So when your hope's on fire  
But you know your desire  
Don't hold a glass over the flame  
Don't let your heart grow cold  
I will call you by name  
I will share your road**_

But hold me fast, Hold me fast  
'Cause I'm a hopeless wanderer  
And hold me fast, Hold me fast  
'Cause I'm a hopeless wanderer

Yup, he was fucking crazy...crazy for this girl.

Shit.


	8. Surrender

_**He-eyy  
Where will you be waking up tomorrow morning?  
He-eyy  
Out the back door  
Goddamn  
But I love her anyway  
I love her anyway  
I love her anyway  
Out the back door  
Goddamn but I love her anyway**_  
(Miss Jackson-Panic at the disco)

Jay laid in Emma's bed, wearing nothing but his boxers, her cuddled up next to him face to face but asleep. It was morning and he had to go to work soon but he found his fingers wanted to do some tracing before he got out of bed and they traced her jaw line, then wrapped around her chin, waking her up as he leaned her head a bit up, kissing her tenderly.

"Sleepy." she mummered against his lips and his curled into a grin.

"Horny." he declared himself, getting a tired laugh out of her and a slight slap to the chest.

She opened her eyes and he got lost in those brown chocolate waves.

He sat up and he noticed her give in and sit up, his hands went to her hips and guided her onto his lap and she yawned as she sat on him, his back leaning against her bed frame.

"You don't ... **seem** horny." Emma admitted with a slight smile, not feeling a hard on. Just a little disappointed.

Jay smirked, ah, caught, "I gotta go to work." he admitted.

Her mouth shaped an oh and his eyes searched her face for any other beautiful habits, and when she tilted her head..there was another. So many things he was starting to figure out about her, her habits, her flaws, her tickle spots..

"Are you late?" she asked, getting off him and he frowned but shrugged and finally pulled himself up to get ready.

"No, luckily I woke up in time." he told her, sliding his jeans on.

"Two right choices in one night? Your on a roll." Emma teased with a grin and putting on her white tank top and a pair of jeans on too.

"Two?" Jay asked, confused.

"Well you ended up here last night right?" she asked cheekily and playfully, sitting on her bed indian style as she brushed her hair to one side.

His smirk grew into a genuine smile, "You were jealous." he confirms, happy she was.

She instantly frowned and put her hair brush down on the bed, "I don't get jealous." suddenly she was serious and a bit bitter as he laughed.

He replied back, "Right, Queen of Stubborn and Grudges doesn't get jealous." he grabbed his keys and raised an eyebrow at her, Yeah right.

She took this ratherly hard, "I don't get stubborn." she angered more when he smirked wider to her obvious reaction, "I wasn't jealous." she snapped and got a little meaner, "We're not in a relationship, there's **no reason** to be jealous. Casual remember?"

Jay narrowed his eyes hard on her as he stopped at her door, holding her handle. There's the old statistic she use to always use when put on the spot! Cold attitude and striking words. Him and her were awfully alike with that.. knew where to hit where it hurts.

"Right." he repeated bitterly, "Casual." he swung her door open and slammed it closed behind him.

Lucas was in the tv room and looked over seeing Jay, "Sup man?" he greeted and saw the anger on his face, "You alright?" he then looked around and at Emma's door, confused, "Did you just come out of Emma's room?" he smirked, "Did you two hook up?"

"Just casual sex." Jay bittered, "That's _all_ it is. Nothing more." he suddenly snapped madly, "She's full of shit." he spat angrily, pointing swiftly at her shut door.

Lucas smirked, nodding and remembering this moment himself when he realised it was more serious with Manny.

"You think you have the power in this kind of relationship and suddenly you realise, you don't." Lucas knew this all too well.

"Morning baby." Manny greeted, coming in and wearing just a towel but her hair dry and she leaned over the couch Lucas was on as he looked up and shared a longing kiss with her.

Jay glanced at them and at Emma's room. Why didn't they act like that? Not in a relationship, that's why, why was he being so confused suddenly?

"Come back to bed." Manny sexily whispered into Lucas' ear who chuckled deeply and glanced to Jay to nod back to Manny.

"Gimme a second." he told her and she nodded, looked to Jay and slightly waved before leaving and Lucas got up.

"Just surrender man." Lucas told him while stopping infront.

"to what?" Jay asked, squinting his eyes at Lucas.

Lucas shrugged like it was simple, "To her."

Jay stared off as Lucas walked around him and left. He went back into Manny's room and even though the giggles and moans were clear to hear, Jay was too lost in thought to hear.

Surrender to Emma?

He felt himself weaken, and his chest gave in but then he snapped back to his anger. Hell no! If he was going to surrender, she had to too, and she had to admit first that she was INDEED jealous!

He stormed out of the apartment.

I love her anyway

_**Miss Jackson  
Miss Jackson  
Miss Jackson  
Are you nasty?**_

Miss Jackson  
Miss Jackson  
Miss Jackson  
Are you nasty?

Miss Jackson  
Miss Jackson  
Miss Jackson  
Are you nasty?  
Are you nasty  
I love her anyway

"Em?" Manny came into the blondes room the next day.

Emma was moving her room around and out of breath, "hey." she greeted, boxes all over her bed.

Manny glanced around impressed and then sadly pouted when she went to a box, "You're getting rid of mr bacon?" she flashed Emma the pig toy they use to fight over as kids.

Emma giggled and shrugged her shoulder, "Maybe I'll keep that box at moms house." she confirms playfully.

Manny put the toy down and then lifted some pictures and frowned sadly, an old one of her and Emma with Sean, Toby, Liberty..and J.t.

"Both of them.." whispered Manny sadly, tracing her finger along J.t's face in the photo, "Wasn't fair." she mumbled, looking at Sean and his old bandana days.

Emma glanced at her and tried to shrug the conversation off as she grabbed a box, "Want to help me carry some of these boxes to the garbage?" she asked.

"You really want to throw this out?" Manny asked confused. She knew it was a hard memory but one day the pictures wouldn't be SO hard to look at.

Emma just nodded and carried a box to her door, "Let's not talk about it."

"Are you seeing anyone?" Manny blurted, just dying for Emma to talk to her about the Jay situation. Ever since Sean, Emma's been so secretive and it wasn't fair.. maybe that's why she fell so easily for Lucas, he was like her new best friend.. Emma was so on and off.

"You'd know." Emma insisted and Manny raised an eyebrow. What kind of answer was that? Manny dated Jay, Emma could at least give her a small truth to that.

"I've seen Jay in and out." Manny finally said out loud and Emma huffed to swallow hard and set the box down.

She avoided Manny's eyes for a moment and put her arms across another, "It's just Jay." she shrugged it off.

Manny shook her head at Emma in disbelief, it wasn't JUST Jay, it was _Jay_.

"But you're hooking up again?" Manny asked again and Emma stiffened but nodded, "So highschool." joked Manny, hoping to lighten the mood so Emma would give her something, anything.

"So not serious." Emma tried to wave it off and grabbed the box again.

Manny scoffed madly, sick of this Emma who hid her feelings down to well.

"So serious." Manny corrected, chasing Emma out into their kitchen and Emma closed her eyes, putting the bbox on the counter and rubbed her forehead like she was in pain or something, "Emma, it's Jay. You've guys had this _thing_ between you two since highschool and it's still going on and hasn't faded away, that doesn't say anything at all?"

"He's really good in bed?" Emma offered.

Manny crossed her arms, "You've never been a girl whose just about sex Emma Nelson." she confirmed sternly.

Emma practically sneered at her and grabbed the box, leaving and slamming the door shut behind her. Manny stood there alone and huffed, running a hand through her hair.

Emma made it to the trash can outside and threw the box out, pictures, old letters and kid toys splattered everywhere. She stared down at the one picture with both Sean and J.t in it. Her shoulders fell and she stared at it, tears fighting their way through her eyes.

She quickly whipped them away and looked around, happy no one was around to see and turned around, going back inside.

_**Miss Jackson  
Miss Jackson  
Miss Jackson  
Are you nasty?**_

The next day Emma sat boredly on her couch and glanced at her phone. Why did some days seem so lonely?

She grabbed it and opened it up, no texts..she noticed not even from Jay, weird. She decided to text him.

Emma; what are you doing?

She placed her phone down and tried to focus on the movie playing on the T.v as the door opened, Manny and Lucas coming in giggling and making out.

Emma rolled her eyes and tried to keep focused and glanced at her phone, still nothing.

"Oh, hey Em." giggled Manny, covering her mouth and blushing as Lucas smirked.

"Movie night alone tonight?" he asked her.

Emma glared a bit but rolled her eyes, use to his teasing. He practically lived with them now.

"What'd you guys do?" she asked, changing the subject.

"he took me out for dinner." Manny said as if swept off her feet...well, guess it was pretty sweet compaired to other guys she dated.

Lucas kissed her tenderly but let his eyes sneak back to Emma as he drifted off but loud and clear, "Then the date turned into a double."

"Oh did you see Liberty and her new boyfriend?" Emma asked, interested.

Manny bit her lower lip, glancing at Lucas and then shook her head no, "Jay and Bree." it seemed both Lucas and Manny waited for her reaction.

"Oh." Emma simply stated, holding a stone hard face, "Fun." she turned back to the tv.

Manny and Lucas shared a look and he nodded at her, going into her room as Manny went to Emma, "Are you mad?" she asked.

"Hmm?" Emma snapped back to her and stiffed a laugh, "That Jay's on a date? No." she glanced at her phone once more and clenched her fists, and felt her stomach turn..jerk.

Manny slowly nodded, "So.. you guys are going to date other people then?"

"We weren't dating in the first place." Emma snapped at her, narrowing her eyes and huffed. Couldn't they see she was TRYING to watch a movie?

Manny rolled her eyes at her best friend and lifted her hands in defense, "Fine." she got up and turned, "Then you don't mind she comes to our part tomorrow." she tossed over her shoulder.

Emma's mouth fell and betrayl crossed her face as she watched Manny walk off.

How could she?!


	9. Could I? Should I?

"Just set the cases down here." Manny directed the boys.

Lucas playfully rolled his eyes at her, carrying the heavy beer cases with Spinner and Jay, "Right here princess?" he teased, putting it on the kitchen counter.

"Neat decoration." teased Spinner, making fun of her streamers. This wasn't highschool anymore.

Jay chuckled too and looked around but noticed they were alone.

Manny noticed his eyes wonder and tilted her head but looked at the clock and gasped, "Party's going to start in an hour. And where is Emma?!" she exclaimed, going to Emma's room and peaking in.

Not there.

"Brought the speakers." came a new voice, Jane coming in with Bree following after her and the blonde flashed Jay a smile.

"Our savior." Spinner playfully said, hugging Jane and taking the speakers from her and walked to the sterio to set up.

Bree wrapped her arms around Jay's waist and looked at Manny, "Your place is really nice."

"Thanks." Manny beamed.

The party was starting to get really busy, and Emma had finally come in with Liberty behind her and Manny was drunk already and squeeled, raising her arms that both hands held beers with.

"double fisting, that'll get her drunk fast." joked Liberty as Manny ran to them and Lucas followed her, "And it's only 9 o clock."

"And the party just started." joked Lucas, wrapping an arm around Manny's waist to hold her up just incase.

Manny smiled happily, "Glad you can make it Lib, and grace us with your smart mouth."

Liberty proudly smiled back as behind Lucas, Jay and Spinner passed and he stopped them, "Guys, there you are." he greeted, "Wana do some shots?"

Jay and Emma connected eyes but Emma looked away and back to Manny, ignoring him.

"Where's this new boyfriend?" Manny asked Liberty and the girl was looking down at her phone as she shut it and looked up to look around.

"He said he just came in." she turned and gasped, but blocked the figure from being shown, "You guys.." she drifted, turning back and someone was coming around her and slid their hand into hers, "Meet Peter."

Even Jay and Spinner looked over, also looking confused. Emma's ex boyfriend? Emma even had to tilt her head confused.. she was for sure over Peter Stone but.. what was with Liberty going after her exs? Chris.. Damien.. Now Peter?

"Hey Guys.." Peter sheepishly said, giving Emma that ' i know this is wierd' look, but he couldn't help it. Liberty was random but it was the best random that's ever happened to him.

"Liberty that's Peter." Manny said dumbfounded and Spinner laughed a bit from behind while standing with Jay.

"We know him." Emma said, agreeing with how crazy this is, and pointed to Liberty, "You know him, you know his reputation.."

Liberty rolled her eyes and replied, "We all know anothers highschool reputations, Manny are you still taking your shirt off infront of a camera?"

"Not unless it was with me." Lucas spoke up, grinning with the guys and cheering their beers.

"Ouuu sex tape." Spinner joked, "Scandalous."

"Emma, are you still, and parden my rudeness, anorexic?" Liberty just wanted a fact to be shown, people change.

Emma bit the end of her tounge and just rolled her eyes but shrugged. Whatever, she can date the creep if she wanted.

"Good..luck?" Emma offered their relationship.

"You're going to need it." slurred Manny to giggle.

"guys!" came Jane's voice, walking over with Bree.

Emma was starting to feel an uncomfortable sink feeling in the pit of her stomach, and she didn't feel like being here anymore.

"Bree just got great news! She got accepted to Sheridan, she's staying in Toronto with us!" Jane cheered and so did the rest except for Emma, who take a sip of her beer in her red cup.

"What'd you get accepted to?" Spinner asked his girl friends cousin.

Bree smiled happily and put her hand on Jay's arm, like she owned him. Emma felt something stir inside of her.

"Art." Bree told them.

Manny smirked seeing Emma roll her eyes, wow, what a serious acceptance and not at all hard to get into.. Luckily, Jay was busy talking to the guys to notice.

"Lets go get those shots." Lucas told them, leaving the girls alone and even patted Peter's chest to follow.

The girls were alone and Jane giggled watching Bree eye Jay go, "Somebody's inlove." she teased her cousin.

Bree gasped and slapped her arm playfully as Emma blankly looked between the two, "Don't jinx it!" Bree told Jane.

Manny snuck a glance at Emma a bit and looked to Liberty who spoke up, "Who? Jay?" she asked, catching up on recent events.

Bree blushed and nodded, "We just started dating."

"Is it serious?" Manny blurted out

Emma's mouth fell but she snapped it shut, trying not to look wierd.

"We're working on it I think, he's hard to figure out, but I like that." Bree confirms, tossing her long blonde hair to the back.

"Careful." Manny sang, "He's been known to cheat. We've dated."

Emma eyed Manny closely, why is it she felt like Manny wasn't saying this for herself, or Bree?

Bree shrugged slowly, "I once had a shady past myself. I trust him."

"I gotta go..say hi to someone," Emma lied, "See yeah guys." with that, she walked off, shaking her head.

She even stormed all the way to the kitchen where the Devil himself stood and almost bumped into him but thankfully looked up in time and abruptly stopped as did he.

"You." Emma snapped.

"You." he mocked back, giving a shocked fake expression and lazy smirk afterwards.

"So you're dating Bree?" Emma asked, coming out with it, why not? It was no big deal! "She's nice." she confirms.

"Nice?" Jay taunted the word on repeat, sipping his beer entertainingly

Emma glared, but tried to keep her act up, "_Nice _and_ pretty_ too, she may even be smart so careful what you try to pull with her." she confirms.

"I've handled smart woman before." he taunted, hinting towards her.

"Oh you never handled me." Emma snapped back, "You just _had _me."

"I handled you lots, Emma." He snapped back, stepping closer and she stopped breathing, "I've handled you in the bathtub, on the ground...in the bed sheets." his finger slowly reached out and smoothed down her cheek memorizingly.

Emma snapped his hand away and looked around for anyone who saw thankfully nobody.

"So I'm guessing our little casual stuff is done?" taunts Jay, "you seem bitter about it."

Emma was fuming, "I'm not bitter, I don't **care** Jay... what part of 'I don't get jealous' do you understand? Or the part where we weren't dating. It's over if you say it's over." she confirms.

He raised an eyebrow, "So you don't want to stop?" he asked.

"It was casual, I don't care either way!" she exclaimed, but fire still coming out of her ears.

"Fine it's still on." he said simply, like it was no big deal but that devilish smirk was slapped across his face.

Her mouth fell and she asked, "Even as you date Bree?"

"Do you care?" he mocked her words.

"No." Emma remembered she couldn't, she couldn't CARE.

"See you tomorrow then." he shrugged, and walked around her.

"Ass." she bit back before he completely left and he chuckled.

The girls all met up again and entered the crowded party to meet up with the guys again. Emma had secretily scowl though, noticing everyone paired up. Liberty with Peter, Jane with Spinner, Manny with Lucas and now Jay and Bree. It kind made her heart sink when she looked at Bree and Jay- and everyone else.

Kellie.

There he stood in the crowd and smiled just as happily when they connected eyes. Oh thank god! Emma watched him squish through the people and go over to them, cutting between Jay and Bree talking as he did.

If Jay didn't already glare, he glared harder when this guy went to Emma.

"Hey." he heard the guy greet softly. Wimp.

Emma smiled bashfully, happily someone was playing hero to her embarressing moment, "You came." she had invited him, having heard Bree was coming but he never answered

"For you? Ofcourse." he teased playfully.

Jay swug his beer back, glaring daggers at the back of this guys head and glancing between him and Emma now and then when Bree wasn't watching.

An hour later, the party started to die down, and Jay watched at the corner of his eye when Emma led Kellie to the front door, saying goodnight.

The little jerk even leaned in and kissed her goodbye.

"is this the first guy she's seen since her boyfriend?" Bree whispered beside him, but thankfully spoke to Manny as the girls glanced to see what Jay watched too.

Manny and Jay connected eyes and Jay even scowled, turning from them and to the guys, but still listened to them.

"The first _serious_ guy I guess." Manny chose her words carefully, "He's a nice guy, he does a lot to get her attention." her eyes burned at the back of Jay's head.

Jay clenched his jaw and his fists tightly, trying to focus on the guys' conversation, talking about Niagara Falls.

"Hey." Emma cut their conversation off, coming between them and Manny smirked to her, "What?"

"That guy is a cutie." Bree told Emma.

Emma resisted glaring at her, why? Did Bree want to steal Kellie away too? Emma shook her head and just bared a smile.

"Yeah he is."

Jay couldn't believe his ears, and he wanted to go out that door and grab Kellie by the back of his neck and do some damage. then he wanted to come back in and remind Emma who gave her that stary look in her eye when she came, and whose name she called at night, who was there when she woke up in the morning.

"So Niagara falls it is?!" Spinner cheered as Jay bluntly nodded when he caught Spinner look at him and nod, it was a reflex..and he had no idea what he just agree to.

The girls turned and Lucas happily raised his beer bottle, "Boys night in Niagara next weekend!"

"What?!" Jane complained, "What are the girls suppose to do?"

"Be lonely without us." joked Spinner, sharing a smile with her, "Have a girls night." he offered them.

"We haven't really had one in a while." admits Manny, looking to Emma.

Don't invite Bree, don't invite Bree.

"We'll all go." Jane insisted, putting her hand on Bree's shoulder and Emma cursed in her head.

"Ceasers and Margarita's all nights." Manny said excitingly.

The guys rolled their eyes to another, such a girly drink.

"Let's leave the margarita's out for Emma though." teased Liberty remembering Emma's last party at her parents' house back in highschool, "Remember puking margarita's everywhere on Sean, remember that?!" she bursts into giggles and even Manny followed after, Spinner laughing too and soon everyone but Jay laughed, he though noticed Emma not and frowned deeply himself knowing what got her upset and narrowed his eyes angrily at Liberty.

Not that it wasn't funny, i mean sure.. but when it reminded you of your passed away boyfriend and the night your best friend died..

Emma kind of swept her bangs out of her face as she took a slow sip from her cup, gulping hard, trying to hide the pain. She realised it wasn't the drink she was trying to swallow, it was her cry. Before the tears came she excused herself.

"Be right back." she left quickly with a fake smile that instantly whipped off when she was out of their site.

Manny stopped laughing and knew exactly what was wrong and Liberty then saddened herself, figuring out what she made Emma remember.. and she looked down. Sometimes she just forgot she had time to get over J.t's death and Sean was still a year fresh..and the mention of two important boys in Emma's life, probably really hurt just now.

_**And all the things that you never ever told me  
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me  
Never coming home  
Never coming home  
Could I? Should I?  
And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me  
For all the ghosts that are never gonna...**_

Emma stayed in her room and listened to everyone leaving the party soon enough, and she was whipping her last tear as she finally heard silence. Manny and Lucas probably went straight to bed.

She heard her door open and figured Manny had seen how upset she was but felt more wieght on her bed when the person crawled in beside her, it was too much to be Manny and she felt those familiar arms go around her as she shut her eyes tighter, feeling herself hold in her cry as hard as she could away from him, Jay.

"Come on." he whispered in her ear, pulling her into his arms tighly and she let the cry out, sniffing and crashing into him, melting into his strong arms that wrapped around her and cried into his chest.

He cringed, wishing this didn't hurt her like it still did, but he guessed it was Sean plus the hurt of J.t as well.. and things weren't exactly smooth between them right now. Manny was always busy with Lucas lately and SHOULD of been the one here for her...but always him.

Always Jay.

Emma's tensed up body finally relaxed and her tears dried up as she just laid in his arms still like, and his fingers caressed her hair as they laid together and she closed her eyes so tiredly, falling in to slumber.

He stayed up wide awake, staring at the wall blankly or down at her.

His chest would do funny things when he did look down, or thought about her, and he painfully came to the conclusion that it always did.

Jay Hogart was, is, inlove with Emma _Nelson. Greenpeace, his little beautiful Greenpeace._


	10. You Can't Trust Jay Hogart

**Pocksuppet. I'm not a fan of Liberty lol, I don't really care who she ends up with if it's not J.t, since Jts gone, I think there is barely a story for her in this JEMMA story.. but if you tell me who you DO like her with, I'll put it in! Jemma forever though 3 thanks everyone else for your reviews ! Tell me what you'd like to see in the following updates. Does everyone like Manny with Lucas? **

Sometimes sex was always even better when she was mad at him, because she made him work for it, which meant more play time, and she could never resist his teasing or words.

Emma rolled over, satisfied more than ever and taking deep breaths to catch some air again.

"Four times," teased Jay beside her, sitting up against the frame of her bed, "That's a new record Nelson." he smirked.

She bit her lip while smiling, but why blush? Nothing Jay hadn't seen or done to her before..

She sat up and put her knee over him and straddled him while he put his hands on her hips and he raised an eyebrow.

"Again?" he asked a bit in shock.

She answered by just kissing him, but he noticed her not going further so happily kissed her back, just enjoying anothers feel of another.

She had a rough night so maybe she just wanted _this_ for now. He tenderly kissed her once more until pulling away a little and gripping his fingers tighter around her waist and her fingers just tapped and played around his chest.

He couldn't tell her his new discovery about their relationship, about his own feelings, it'd freak her out as much as it scared the shit out of him. Caring for someone else other than himself ? It's bound to go wrong.. since when was he the type to be wrapped around someones finger? Would he give up things he loved, for her? Yes. And that was the scariest realization of it all.

Instead of coming out with the truth, Jay muttered, "Bree's waiting for me." he noticed her tense under his feelings and eyed her face for a reaction and she just stared blankly down at his chest until nodding and look up at him.

"Ok." she simply said, getting up and off him, and slid quickly into her black silk house coat, pushing her ruffled hair into a high bun

Jay stared up in awe at her, he was 21 now, and he thought after highschool he'd be finally given the big guns, the college girls.. instead he got the final trigger, a girl he'd be content on being with forever. Not even when with Alex, did he stare and watch her get ready, or cuddle with in the mornings, go out of his way to see if she was okay...how could Emma not tell something was going on?

Jay had to do what he was best at, running away from the problem, the truth.

"I won't see you this weekend, so.." he drifts, getting up and doing up his pants as she glanced over at him, "Niagara." he reminded.

Ah right, with the boys.

"What's in Niagara?" she asked confused then frowned, right, she was suppose to have a girls next. .ugh.

"Casinos and drunks." he joked.

Emma eyed him, "Isn't Niagara known for it's strip clubs too?" she got answered with a grin and she rolled her eyes smiling, "Have fun."

"Probably will." he insisted, grabbing his shirt and putting it on, then his hat.

Emma sat on the edge of her bed and muttered, "Bree's fine with that?"

"Would Bree be fine with this?" he taunted, gestering between him and her.

Emma shrugged, good point. But it seemed different now, if he hooked up with ANOTHER girl in Niagara...for some reason Emma felt she would be furious, let alone done, Bree was enough. She narrowed her eyes at him watching him go through his cellphone messages.

"She has no idea she can't trust you, does she?" Emma finally asked.

Jay paused, and looked at her oddly and Emma just kept her stare on him. He scratched the back of his neck and went around the bed to the end and sat down beside her.

When Emma thought all was about to get serious, Jay finally replied, "I'm no ones boyfriend." he looked her dead in the eye and Emma bit the end of her tounge and just looked away from him.

"Then if she catches you with someone else in Niagara-"

"Then so be it." Jay cut her off, raising an eyebrow as if he didn't care. He then stood up and Emma played with her hands and dug her nails into her palm.

Before he left, she finally blurted it out, "If you hook up with someone else I'm done."

Jay stopped, and stared longingly at the door knob until he slowly turned and tilted his head at her... did she just really say that?

"Bree's fine, but anyone else.." Emma drifted off, looking away from him and feeling a little powerless.

Yet she had no idea the power she had over him and he squinted his eyes at her. Brees FINE though? Not what he wanted to hear.. why not say 'nobody but me is okay' . . that'd tickle his fancy.

"Is this is in the rulebook? I thought we were allowed to date anyone else."

"one other person." Emma corrected, "If you want another, then dump the first and move on, just no two at a time.. I'm not some third choice resort when you need t o get lucky, I'm not a slut."

She finally looked back at him, fire flashing through her eyes and he raised his eyebrows impressed. She thought she'd be last choice? Cute.

He chuckled and turned, and she hated that reaction and fumed as he left.

That little jerk!

"You're leaving me too?!" Manny groaned that weekend morning, watching Emma pack up a bag.

Emma paused before zipping her bag up, smiling again, her plan was perfect. She was going to follow Jay Hogart to Niagara, find out if he was going to fool around with ANOTHER girl, and then she'd know what to do about them.

"It'll only be a few days." Emma confirmed, "Seeing my Dad." she shrugged.

Manny nodded, "I guess that's a good excuse." she walked behind the blonde as she went to go.

Emma stopped at the front door and turned to hug MAnny goodbye, "The guys are picking up Lucas soon right?" she asked.

Manny looked confused and nodded, but squeeked when Emma pulled her into a fast hug, and then ran off.

Emma got into her black car and sat in it for a moment until she sat up, seeing the familiar orange civic drive up to her buildings entrance and Lucas run out and into the car where Spinner was in the back, cheering madly.

Emma started the car and she then drove onto the road and followed after Jay Hogart's car.

It was an hour of driving, and Emma's eyes began to tire until she sighed happily when they pulled off the exit... Niagara Falls.

She parked a few more cars down and noticed a diner attached to this motel and the guys got out, speaking to another about getting a bite to eat before getting their rooms. The sun was already going down but Emma knew their night had just begun so she decided to go get a room before they got to front desk. She eyed Jay toss his keys into his pocket swiftly and open the diners door, going in with his buddies.

"Good evening." smiled a nice old lady when Emma stepped inside the entrance of the motel.

Emma tried to muster a smile while looking around, it was nice, for being small, but she'd still rather a hotel.

"I just need a room." Emma said, putting her small duffle bag on the counter and looking for her wallet. She scanned outside, and was still clear as she turned back, "Actually I'm just curious if my friend's here yet."

"Oh ofcourse dear, what's her name?" the woman asked, her chubby cheeks smiling wide. They were inturpted as what looked like the motels cleaner man, came in.

"A-afternoon." he nodded politelty, and stuttered a bit. He looked older, not the most handome guy, a little scrunny and carrying a mop but had manners..which you didn't hear alot anymore.

Emma offered a small smile.

"His." Emma corrects, turning back to the woman, "And Jay Hogart? Could be under Jayson too.." she drifted off.

The old woman checked as Emma tapped her fingers impatiently, "Ah room 206, no he hasn't arrived just yet." she told him.

Emma smiled happily, given what she was waiting for, "Ok that's fine. Could you move my room down the hall from him?"

The other employee began to mop around her and he looked up, mentioning, "There's some guys in the diner..if that's who you-you're l-l-looking for."

Emma smiled to him for his thankful help, but she was on a mission, and here as a secret!

"I want it to be a suprize." Emma confirmed, turning back to the woman.

"Sure honey." she tapped away at her computer and Emma tilted her head, this may of been a bit wierd, but she was desperate to find out if Jay would still lie to her, but honestly..why was she second guessing Jay Hogart?

Maybe she just had to finally see it so it could be the push she needed away from him.

"honey." the woman repeating, trying to snap Emma out of it who shook her head and shyly smiled and grabbed the key the woman offered her.

"Emma Nelson." Emma said, handing her credit card over and paying for the room.

"Well there's your room Emma, and I hope your boyfriend is happy with your suprize." the lady gushed.

Emma laughed a little nervously, boy friend? No, just casual playboy. She thanked the woman once more til she went to her room. As she made coffee on her motel rooms counter, she peeked out the window when hearing loud talking and ofcourse it was already drunk boy from the diner, Lucas, Jay and Spinner though Emma had to give it to Jay, he still looked soberish.

She watched out of her window as they went into the motels lobby and got their motel keys, and when Jay went up to get his, the woman was painfully being obvious that she knew his 'girlfriend' was going to suprize him. Emma's body went cold when she noticed her speak and Jay's face look a little confused for a second.. Oh god, did the woman tell him about her? She watched as he looked over his shoulder out the window but then sighed happily when he was just waiting for the woman to scan his card.

The stuttering employee seemed to talk to guys for a few minutes, and he was pointing around out the window as if giving them directions. Jay seemed to thank him and even pass a tip as they exited the office.

Emma closed her curtains as they exited and she sat on her bed, knowing they were just going to their rooms to drink and then they'd go out.

Emma had her coffee and put on her show Dexter on T.v, well, Jay's show, but he got her so obsessed. And for a small motel, this bed was sooo comfortable, that Emma actually passed out


	11. I Knew You Were Trouble

A few hours had gone by and Emma cursed when she woke up, looking around the dark room and putting her lamp on

She stood up and looked outside her window, nothing, Jay's car still there but they probably cabbed downtown. She cursed again and huffed.. that is until she heard giggling and looked down the motels sidewalk near the entrance again. Lucas and Jay were trying to hold Spinner up, who was drunkenly slurring at two other girls who just got out of a cab behind them and were giggling and flirting with the, and Spinner happily inviting them back to their room.

Emma glared, they looked like strippers and it seemed Jay had a type when the shoulder lenght blonde haired girl was smiling seductively up at him, in quite the conversation with another. He looked a bit more drunk now, but not as bad as Spinner and still could function and probably drive if he wanted to, but he held a beer bottle that the blonde playfully took away and sipped herself.

Emma felt her blood bumped and she snickered bitterly. She knew it! She watched as Jay skeptically looked around before leaning and whispering something in the girls ear before he walked off, leaving her and her friend with Lucas and Spinner but the girl watched Jay walk off back to his room with a smirk on her face.

Emma felt dirty, lied to, used and she watched Jay got to his corner motel room down the hall from her and go inside. She put her hand to her cheeks with her mouth hung a little, finding tears and looked down at her wet fingers before she whipped them away. what?! What was she doing, crying!? Over this known to be heart breaker?

This wasn't her, and she sure as hell didn't hold back from what she thought, ever! She paced around her room for a few minutes until looking back out and seeing the blonde girl swish away smoothly from the group and slowly headed towards Jay's room around the corner.

Emma watched closely as the girl knocked on the motel door, and waited, until seeing the door open, and two arms went around the girls hips.

That LITTLE!

Emma watched the girl go in, giggling annoyingly and Emma found herself storm out of her motel room, and walking over to that motel door and sucked in a deep breath before knocking on it.

Nothing.

Emma rolled her eyes, she KNEW he was in there.

She knocked harder.

Still nothing.

"JAY!" she finally just swung the door open, unlocked, to her luck. The room was cleanish, with some bags on the dresser.

She looked around and saw no one but did hear a shower on. He was showering with another girl!? Fine, gave her time for the 'i knew you were bad' speech.. maybe she'd even slap him. Yeah! She'd slap him good! Emma listened and heard that giggle again, yup, they were for sure in there..and she'd slap that hooker too.

The door opened and Emma twirled back around to the bathroom door, and the 'hooker' girl came out and gave a confused look.

"Who the hell are you?" the girl snapped, and then the bathroom door opened more.

Emma's mouth dropped but she tried to muster up her strength, "The girl that's going to show you how much a cheat and a liar your boy toy here is."

Emma lifted her hand to point at Jay to...not find Jay, but instead the stuttering motel worker who seemed rather pleased he was getting lucky, but it was kinda obvious he was getting it because someone paid the girl, and it was now clear to Emma that this wasn't Jay's room.

"Oh my god." Emma stared in complete horror, "This was a mistake, I'm SO SORRY!" Emma tried running out with the girl right behind her.

It wasn't until she reached almost the last motel room that a door was opened and grabbed Emma right inside quickly.

Emma gasped loudly but knew the feel and roughness of his hands, it was Jay, and he grabbed her roughly in his real motel room, slamming the door shut and leaning her up against it, leaning down closely to her

Okay, so he's probably mad.

Emma looked up into his eyes with wide eyes, speechless, as he gazed down firely at her, but his hands moved from her arms to the sides of her neck and then the back of her head and leaned down, kissing her hard and she fell limp into his arms, kissing back as much as she could back but still in shock he knew she was there.

Emma's body melted against his automatically, and he playfully bit her lower lip and groaned kissing her more when he felt her kissing back until she put her hands on his chest and pulled away, but still leaned against the door with his hands now on her waist.

"What the hell are you doing?" she said breathlessly, her heart pounding. Why isn't he yelling at her?

Jay chuckled, starting to run his fingers through her hair, "Messing with _your _head for once."

Emma tried to get out of his hold madly, which he did let go but he let his arms block her from leaving, leaning each of them on the sides of her, against the door so she was trapped between.

"Why in such a hurry to go when _you _followed **me **here?" he said tauntingly but with a amusing smirk, eyes twinkling. Emma fumed much more, he was enjoying her humiliation.

Her heart was thumping wildly.

"How you'd find out?" she snapped though, instead of admitting to it or saying sorry.

"Old lady at front desk whispered it to me." Jay confirmed, "Said my _girlfriend_ was here to surprise me but I should be romantic and suprise you." he says in a taunting tone.

Emma cursed the woman, she knew it! She bit the end of her tounge and still looked confused, "That girl outside though.."

"I paid her to go give stuttering Stanley a little action." he smirked, "He was helpful, letting me know what room you were in, what you looked like.. I thought it was Bree for a second but silly Jay should of known only Emma Nelson has nerve like this." he whispered, eyeing her down.

Emma wanted to die, she never felt SO stupid.

"So you knew I was watching?" she asked helplessly.

He softened, and moved one arm down from blocking her, and raised that hand up, stroking her hair, "I hoped you would."

Her eyes didn't hold admiration though, she was still angry, "So you just wanted to make me look stupid?!"

"Well what were you trying to do?" he snapped back, eyes going dark.

Emma looked off, scowling, "I wanted to see what you'd do when thinking no ones watching, do what you do best, cheat. And then Bree would know-"

"Bree?" he repeats, snorting, "This is far from about Bree, it's _always _about you."

She swallowed hard and shook her head, "No this is about-" she gasped and moaned out, feeling his hand slide down her jeans and into her panties, and he began to rub.

"Feel that?" he huskily asked quietly, inch away from her face and she moaned again, "That power you feel sorta slip away when I touch you?"

Emma looked painfully into his eyes but didn't push him away, why coudn't she push him away!? She then shut her eyes in bliss when his talented fingers did it's work and she was trembling at his touch.

"That's what I feel when you're _around _me." he whispered into her ear and she opened her eyes, sadness washing over them.

Was he admitting he had feelings towards her?

"Do you get that around me?" he asked her seriously, "Do you feel this other than when I'm _fucking _you?" his icy eyes burned down into hers and she clenched hers shut when he rubbed her deeper, in circles, smoldering down at her. She was holding onto him as she trembled and came, and panted hard, whimpering a bit as her head hung a bit, clinging her body to his. She was too embarressed to open her eyes and look at him after she caught her breath until he lifted her chin up and placed his other hand on her hip.

"I _can't _feel that way." Emma whispered weakily and shakingly.

He squinted his eyes at her almost evilily, "you **won't**, just like you **won't **admit you can be jealous, but you are, with Bree, and with that other girl out there. Like you can't admit you followed me all the way to Niagara to see if I'd go against your wishes.." his fingers wrapped around her chin, raising her head up to look at him, "Does this all sound 'casual' to you?"

Emma's breath was gone, her heart speeding up so wildly she almost choked for breath.

He spoke again, "Does me being over every day to see you sound casual? Does me chasing after ONE girl sound **usua**l? This isn't **me**, but fucked if I let this go cause I c_an't_. I can't let you go cause you're my _fucking_ Greenpeace, you're _**Emma. **_Just like I'm your Jay."

Emma's legs felt weak, her knees giving up. Fuck, he had to say this now? She closed her eyes when his forehead leaned down on hers.

"You're not suppose to say things like this." Emma cried, shaking her head up at him, looking hopeless, "We are doing this so I can think about something other than Sean, and f-for you to get over Manny." when she said it out loud she noticed how stupid she sounded.

Jay bitterly laughed in her face, "I've been over Manny since the start of dating her, Emma, that was all pure bullshit and you knew it. That was forever ago." he eyed her closely, "And I think you're over Sean too.. you're just hanging onto him as an excuse not to fall for anybody else."

Fall? Emma stared at him with her mouth hung open wide. Fall as in inlove? Oh my god. She went to get out of his hold and run out of the door but he blinked and quickly slammed his hand on the door, shutting it back closed and locked it, throwing her behind him.

"Don't do this." Emma begged, tears starting to fall.

"Look at you, Emma!" he shouted at her, "You are just proving my point by running away." Emma began to cry so much she couldn't breath and he cupped her face in his hands, "I want you, I even want to be fucking together, one of those annoying PDA couples, rainbow and fucking cookies, the whole corny act!"

"You can't love anybody but yourself, and even then you run from anything good for you!" Emma yelled at him, trying to fight his hands off of her, "You're a lying, cheating, hateful jerk and that's why I agreed to this whole mess, I knew you weren't the type to get attached! You care so little you didn't even think twice about sleeping with your newly deceased best friend's girl friend! Thats how much of a confused self hating bastard you are." she cried.

Jay stood infront of her, hands down at his sides, and his eyes burning holes into her. His chest caved in and he could barely breath right and he clenched his teeth as she went on

"If you ACTUALLY think you're in love with me or something.." she snickered bitterly, a tear falling down her cheek, "You're really more confused than I thought." she swallowed the lump in her throat down hard, "Don't try to act like a decent human being just because you hang around them."

"You think I wanted to fall for _you_?" Jay sneered at her, his words stinging her and his eyes still burning into her, she's never seen such madness in his eyes, "Sean was the only friend I had that I actually cared about, a friend who actually stuck through it all with me, who i respected, and he stood up for me, was always on my side even though I was the one always fucking up and he knew that!.. . you think that car wreck I got into after his death was an accident?"

Emma gave him a confused look, wondering what he meant by that, she remembered the cuts and bruises, he was drunk wasn't he? Manny had begged Snake to get him out of that mess.

"Manny would rather think I was drunk driving then suicidal." he snickered bitterly.

"What does that mean?" Emma found herself whisper.

He sneered snappily, "Means the arrest your Dad got me out of . .I wasn't driving drunk that night, I **didn't** drive drunk into that tree.. I was sober and I _meant _to." his eyes looked so cold, "I still think to this day, how is it **fair **a guy like that gets his life cut off? Why not someone like **me**?"

_**You got blood on your hands  
And I know it's mine!  
I just need more time  
So get of your low, let's dance like we used to!**_

"Sean was my _best friend_." Jay told Emma, shaking his head at her, "You think I didn't try stop myself from falling for _his _girl? You don't think I felt guilty every time we-" he stopped, not being able to keep his voice level.

Emma's eyes looked like a deer in the headlights, and she stood there like she was getting run over by a truck. wow. She was completely stunned

"But as hard as I tried, I did, I **am **_inlove_ with you and I think I always have been, even when you were with him," Jay's eyes started to show the emotions he had for her, like he really did feel them, "Even the first time we fooled around at the ravine when we were young..but your right, I was the type of person to run from things that are good for me but that was the old me, I'm being selfish this time, and I can't let this go this time, I need you like you need me, like when it was **me **picking you up from that cold hard ground, who stopped you from crying, who HELD you all night." Jay stepped closer and she let him hold her face between his hands, "I'm the name you cry out for when you reach your climax, I'm the one who kept you going and feeling that bliss. It's _me_ that makes you tremble, **my voice** that you wake up to."

Emma had tears pouring down her eyes and she shook her head slowly, "We wouldn't work out, why'd you have to ruin everything?" her heart was fluttering, yet breaking and stinging and her mind was another subject.

"That's bullshit, we've been at this for more than a year." he reminded.

She looked him dead in the eyes and he licked his lips nervously.

"I'm giving you one more chance." he said and she choked on her cry, this wasn't fair, "You admit to me you atleast feel SOME of these feelings back to me."

Dead silence.

"Emma, I KNOW you do, or you wouldn't of come here, save our relationship and just admit one _ounce_ that you care." he was looking so desperately at her now.

Emma opened her mouth and for a second he looked hopeful, until she closed it.

_Emma you're not ready for this, you're not ready for the stress of a relationship with Jay Hogart._

_**But he's right, he is everything I count on, I need him, I like waking up to him, he takes care of me, in a sick way, he's my best friend and.. it's not all stressful, the secrets are but-**_

_We're not ready for commitment, we are not ready to trust JAY HOGART. Plus, you heard him, it was so easy for him to go try and kill himself, you want him to die while with you too?_

Emma shuddered at that thought and pulled away from Jay and went to the door as fast as she could "I-I'm sorry.."

His face fell and he sadly watched her open the door, "I won't go through this again." he warned her.

She nodded slowly, eyes blank, "That's fine." she told him, "You deserve someone more..._you,_ and I deserve someone.." she drifted off, not really knowing what she wanted but this was more about him, he needed a girl who'd appreciate his devoting love, his devilish smirks and wit..

"Better?" he guessed.

_Hurt him, tell him he's right._

"Yeah." Emma said, swallowing hard and he glared a little before nodding. With that, Emma turned and walked out the door.

She numbly walked to her motel room and when she opened the door and closed it behind her, she crashed into tears, sitting on the floor and curling up into a ball. Emotionally just losing Jay felt like she actualy lost another person to death. Her heart broke into tiny pieces and she couldn't see outside her blurry tearful eyes.

She just lost the only person she ever told everything to, who understood her, and took care of her no matter friends or not. Yet where was he now?

She stayed on lying on the cold hard ground.

_**(Taylor swift-trouble)  
I guess you didn't care, and I guess I liked that  
And when I fell hard you took a step back  
Without me, without me, without me**_

And he's long gone when he's next to me  
And I realize the blame is on me

'Cause I knew you were trouble when you walked in  
So shame on me now  
Flew me to places I'd never been  
'Til you put me down, oh  
I knew you were trouble when you walked in  
So shame on me now  
Flew me to places I'd never been  
Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground

In Jay's room, he calmed paced slowly around his motel room, it was silent, but he could hear his own heart ripping to pieces over HER. He wasnt good enough?

Jay picked up the cord phone on his night stand, and pulled it roughly out of its plug before smashing it up against the wall,

_**Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble  
Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble**_


	12. For The Better

"You're home!" Manny squeeled when Lucas opened the door for Emma who dragged herself in almost zombie like.

She dropped her bag tiredly but also in shock as she saw Bree standing there in the kitchen, and my did she look better than her right now.

"You missed girls night, it was so fun." smiled Bree, sipping out of Emma's mug and Emma's stomach tightened in knots but just nodded.

Why was she STILL here?

"How was home?" Manny asked Emma, putting her hands on her hips and tilting her head.

Emma didn't COMPLETELY lie, after Niagara, Emma went to stay with her Mom for a bit just to avoid everybody, and every thing for a week.

Emma blinked out of it and replied, "Exhausting, I'm going to lie down-"

"I have to talk to you." Manny squeeked, and Lucas chuckled, making more coffee for them.

"Can it wait?" Emma asked pleadingly, shutting her eyes for a moment and giving Manny a look.

Manny frowned, "Sure, I guess.." she watched Emma go to her room and quietly shut the door behind her.

"You okay babe?" Lucas asked her and Manny nodded but give him a sad look, crossing her arms.

Emma woke about an hour later when Manny snuck into her room, "Em, we really need to talk." she whispered, climbing on the bed and laying down with her.

Emma laid with her back turned and she groaned to let her now she was awake. It was only 2pm and she felt exhausted..so tired.

"Me and Lucas have been looking into houses." Manny finally revealed.

Emma opened her eyes but didn't turn...I guess it was coming. Lucas was always over.

"So.. that's it?" Emma asked quite fragiley, "Our young college days living together are over?"

Manny looked at the back of Emma's head, giggling softly, "They don't have to be.. we ARE looking for roomates."

Emma raised an eyebrow and finally turned, sharing a smile with Manny.

"Come on." Manny said while rolling her eyes and smiling, "Think I'm ready to give those days up with you yet?"

"I was hoping not." Emma pouted and Manny laughed.

"We found the most beautiful big house, right near school too so it's perfect." Manny declared.

"What's the catch?" Emma grumbled, knowing the word perfect led to something wrong, always.

Manny cringed, waiting for Emma's screaming, "Lucas offered the basement to Spinner and Jane. It's like this apartment type thing so it's like their own place.."

"That's not so bad." Emma said with a shrug.

Manny pierced her lips together and gave the bad news, "Lucas' cousin Bree is also, as you know, staying for school next year and we have an extra room sooo.." she cringed at Emma's betrayl face, "It's his cousin, he offered and it's not like we're 100% sure about how long she will stay, she may just do it to get up on her feet."

Emma looked off in thought and licked her lips, taking a deep breath, "It's fine, just tell me my room won't be right next to hers."

"Down the hall, you'd both be between the bathroom you'll share." cringed Manny, but that's not SO bad!

Emma groaned into her pillow, lying face down on it for a moment and what Manny thought was going to be more pure silence, Emma finally laid back over on her back, staring up at the cieling.

Maybe since Jay thought he was in love her, he'd broke things off with Bree and Bree wasn't SO bad so.. maybe it wouldn't be terrible.

"Fine." Emma agreed.

Manny squeeled happily and high pitch, shaking Emma's shoulders in excitment and the blonde laughed at her.

The next few weeks were full of packing and to Emma's luck, she hadn't bumped into Jay once yet. She heard Lucas talking to someone on the phone, saying Jay had finally got the ownership of the auto shop so he was really busy. It was good for him though, deep down she was proud of him.

She did also, yet not 100% sure, think she heard Manny saying he was still dating Bree, but Emma made sure to conviince Manny things were done between them.

"The final day is here." joked Lucas, helping Emma pick up boxes and Toby and Kelly came over to help too, piling them into the truck downstairs by the entrance.

Emma wore her moving outfit, short jean shorts and a white tank top with her hair up in a bun and a folded up bandana holding her bangs back.

Emma took a deep breath, turning to one more box that wasn't really stuff that belonged to her.

Manny came in and was about to knock as the boys left but saw Emma staring down at something, so quietly entered and whispered, "Knock, knock."

Emma jumped a little and turned, "Oh, hey." she said as Manny peaked at the box.

All Sean's old stuff she wanted to keep before.

Manny bit her cheek, swaying back and forth slowly, "You going to bring it?" she asked softly and Emma tilted her head sadly at the box.

"I think.." Emma drifted off, squinting her eyes at the box, "Think I'm done holding onto it."

Manny slowly started to smile and nodded, she went around her friend and picked up the box, "I'll do the heavy lifting then and get rid of it." to say she was happy Emma had said that, was the honest truth.

It was time to let Sean go.

Emma sucked in a deep breath and looked around her empty room one last time until grabbing her last box.

"Got everything?" Kelly asked, coming back inside and looking around as she nodded and smiled thankfully that he took the box from her.

"Yup." Emma insisted, clapping her hands together from all the dust.

"Nothing left behind?" Kelly asked again just incase.

Emma shrugged, putting her hand on her door knob, "Some things," she confessed, "But for the better." she said assuringly, glancing around one more time before leading him out.

"Lets go then."

_**(Breath- Michelle branch)  
If I just breathe  
Let it fill the space between  
I'll know everything is alright  
Breathe,  
Every little piece of me  
You'll see  
Everything is alright  
Everything is alright if i just breathe... breathe**_

Emma smiled as the truck rolled up to their new home, Manny was right, it was a beautiful house. They had their own pool, backyard, even a party room for guests which had a bar built into it.

Emma waited as Lucas and Spinner threw the door of the moving truck up and started piling boxes again.

Toby and Kelly helped retreive the boxes as they tossed them down.

"Where's Bree?" Jane asked as she met up with them from her own car, and Lucas jumped down from the truck to help take out the tv with Spinner.

"Said she was coming with Jay."

Emma's throat closed up and she looked down. He was coming today? Oh god.. it's been awhile. And so she and Jay were still dating?

"So." Kelly's voice cut off her thinking as she looked over at him and gave a look, he laughed, "I expect a date after all this hard work."

Emma's mouth hung and she went to reply but bit her lower lip. She scowled when Manny walked by and purposely pushed her forward so Emma was caught in Kelly's arms who grinned down at her sheepishly and her looking a bit more, embarressed.

"UH." Emma thought about it, why not? Not like he was just another guy with a shady past who she couldn't trust and who dated other girls or called her stubborn, "Sure."

He grinned and nodded, just as a familiar orange civic drove up from behind and Emma caught glimpse of it and blinked twice, balancing herself up completely and off of Kelly but he kept his hand on her waist.

"Ah, more help is here." Spinner said greatfully when Bree and Jay got out of his car and came over.

Emma put her head down while beside Kelly, which didn't matter much anyways since Jay didn't even look at her.

"You start with the mattress' first you moron." Jay taunted Spinner, jumping up with Lucas and doing just that as the girls stood together and just watched.

"We should probably be helping?" guessed Jane.

Manny giggled a bit and tilted her head at the boys, "Or watching our strong boyfriends do all the work."

"Don't forget my make up box next baby." Bree hollared to Jay with a smirk, who chuckled with the guys and cursed their women.

Emma looked away instantly and walked off, grabbing a box and went inside with Toby.

Toby helped her put together her bed as Kelly came in and out with most of her stuff, and as he put her bed together, he eyed her.

"You okay?" he asked Emma.

Emma looked up while screwing in the bed frame, "Yeah." she shrugged, she should be, she took her final step in letting Sean go today.

So how come she still wasn't okay?

She tried to focus hard on the screw that just wouldn't stay in and scoffed madly, throwing her tool down, "I give up!" she exclaimed.

Kelly came in with her last box and looked around, "You get the bed together?" she just nodded at him, not caring anymore and he nodded back, putting her mattress down on the bed frame. Meh, as long as it worked out

"Thanks for the help Toby, really." Emma told him as he walked around them and nodded, smiling and waving slightly.

"Congrats on the new house." he said and left.

Emma sighed, looking around her new, bigger room, "Glad we're done." she admitted, and she got to stay in her room and avoid Jay the whole time!

Emma's shoulders dropped, it seemed so lonely in this big room...maybe she'll get a puppy.

"you had the least stuff." Kelly said happily and chuckled, "The guys were still trying to get Manny's dresser and Brees bed through the door a minute ago."

"Did you mean it?" Emma cut him off, staring oddly at him.

"What?" he asked, confused, but laughed softly at her cute random habits.

"Wanting to take me out? On a date?"

"Sure did." he nodded.

She was confused this time, "you still want to? After me being.." she drifted off.

"So hard to get?" he teased and then shrugged, "Guys like that." he said and she stared at him, raising an eyebrow.

No, no some really DIDN'T like that.

"Yeah.." Emma drifted off though anyway, not wanting to get on that topic

Kelly stepped closer and she heard herself gasp in a bit, but thankfully he didn't, and she looked kind of scared up at him, but thankfully he didn't notice that either.

He cupped her face with his smooth fingers, but held so gently she barely felt it but felt his breath against her lips.

"I've liked you for a while, Emma." he said quietly and leaned down, she put her hands on his waist and moved her head up, letting him kiss her.

Maybe this was the type of guy she needed. Nice, helpful..

BANG! 

Emma gasped and Kelly turned his head, slowly letting go as Bree and Jay dropped her mattress at Emma's door.

"I-I'm so sorry." Bree said, noticing she just ruined a moment, "I thought this was my room." she looked to Jay, "Babe, go back."

Jay ignored the scene easily, to Emma's notice, and they picked up the mattress and left.

"Awkward." joked Kelly and Emma uneasily smiled.

Later that night, Emma quietly went to go make something to eat and as she got closer to the kitchen she heard all the sounds of her laughing friends and the three couples, Lucas & Manny, Spinner & Jane.. and Jay and Bree talking in the tv room, watching the big football game and the girls giggling together. Emma tilted her head to peak into the room and saw Jay grab a beer from Spinner and sat down next to Bree, putting his arm around her.

Emma decided she wasn't hungry anymore, and hurried back to her room, closing the door shut behind her and sat on her bed, indian style and staring down as her stomach turned in horrid jealous way.

She glanced at her door and didn't understand why Manny didn't even invite her out there..


	13. Why Can't You Just Be Lonely?

"I think a night out would be fun." Manny told Emma, tanning out by their pool and alone for once.

Emma didn't think of how hard it would be living with all these people..

"Haven't done that in awhile." Manny added on.

"Yeah." Emma nodded, squinting her eyes at the sun and feeling it burning against her skin. She laid up on her elbows and Manny laid on her back, sunglasses on.

"We can get the girls, even Lib, Bree said-"

"So Bree's going to come too?" Emma asked, cutting her off.

Manny lifted her head and turned it towards Emma, "She's part of the group."

"She is?" Emma couldn't help but ask, since when? Isn't the group the ol' Degrassi students who went through thick and thin? She didn't remember **Bree **in Degrassi...

"Em, she even lives with us." Manny points out and paused as she sat up, "I thought you were fine with it, thought you fine with them-"

"I am." Emma snapped, not wanting to talk about who 'them' was, "It's just me and you haven't even had alone time since we've moved in here, and does now really count since we're just fighting about it? All month you've been painting with Bree, or grabbing groceries with Bree, or having double dates with-

"Hey!" Manny exclaimed, a little offended, "I asked you if you and Kelly wanted to do that with us last week."

Emma looked away from her and muttered, "Me and him aren't working out." she admitted quietly.

"Really?" Manny asked, frowning and putting her glasses on her head to eye Emma closely.

"It's not even my fault this time." Emma said out loud and coughed awkwardly, glancing at Manny's confused look.

THIS time?

"I- um, he just, he's busy all the time, keeps brushing me off..." she swallowed hard, "Works really important to him."

"Still shouldn't make you feel like you're not important." Manny sadly told her.

"There'll be others.." drifted Emma, avoiding her eyes and put her sunglasses on.

She decided to go see him that night though, and he opened his apartment door for her to walk into, "Heyy, I'm suprized you called so late." he said softly, looking like he just woke up.

It was midnight..

Emma walked in and he led her to his room, and crawled back into bed. Emma paused and stood there, watching him until she crawled in. She remembered after their third date, they got a little tipsy and she had came back here and slept with him. It wasn't the greatest..and they really held no connection even though she tried..and since then it'd just been different between them. She didn't think Kelly was only looking for sex, he was though, looking for a connection as was she but it looked like he didn't find it that night and maybe he pitied her and didn't want to hurt her cause he was too nice of a guy..and she was so broken..

Emma bursted into silent tears and he didn't realise until he head a soft sniff and looked down, seeing her shaking a little.

"Come here." he whispered, bringing her into his arms tightly but still, she felt nothing, no assurane, no comfort, no connection, and he laid his chin on the top of her head staring softly across the room and thinking the same thing.

Silence.

Emma calmed down a bit and felt so stupid, and he finally swallowed hard and licked his lips nervously as she leaned back and sat up on his bed.

They connected eyes and he opened his mouth, pausing, and finally let it out, "I don't think it's working between us." he whispered.

She wasn't shocked, and numbly nodded, before getting up and standing.

He looked awful, like he hated to say it but someone needed to. She waved slightly and mustered the best smile she could to hint it was all okay, and then she turned, and walked away.

She rubbed her arms in the cold air as she walked down the sidewalk on her way home. She felt so wieghed down but what was all on her mind and she then heard a beep, and pulled her phone out of her pocket.

A text from Manny: _Come to Kens Bar._

Kens bar was a new drinking spot the guys liked to go to now since just up the street from their place, and lots of other college students and older people went there.

Emma stopped walking and looked up, since she was ironically right across the street from it and there they sat on the patio, in the night, having some beers

It looked like the happy couple Jay and Bree couldn't make it.

Emma took a deep breath and decided she'd go in.

"hey girl." Jane greeted when Emma stepped into the bar, and the waitress turned to see her.

"Would you like a beer?" she asked Emma.

Emma sat down and replied, "Could I get coke and rum?" she asked, and the girl nodded, writing it down and smiled to everyone, leaving.

Emma looked across the table to Manny sitting on Lucas' lap and even HE said hello, but Manny was too busy texting someone back first to then look up and smile, "Emma! You made it."

Emma nodded slowly, "Yeah.." she drifted, looking off.

The waitress came back at least 10 minutes later, what horrible service, and Spinner was going on about the trip him and Jane were about to go on

Spinner stopped in the middle of his story as Emma poured some of the pitcher in her empty rum glass, Why not?

"DUDE!" Spinner said exctingly, looking behind Emma and Jay came around, sitting across from her and next to him, "You came! Thought Bree was sick tonight."

"She is, but.." Jay began to explain, as he connected eyes with Emma and away, "She wanted to be alone. Said it'd ruin the sexlife if I saw her puking."

"It does man, it does." Spinner joked, getting a slap from Jane, "Ow!" he laughed.

Lucas was lighting a cigerette as he asked, "You two want to come up to my parents cottage this weekend?"

Jay shrugged, giving the hint they just might.

Manny beamed, "It's so romantic up there, stars..the bonfire." she gawked, remembering.

Lucas nodded and went to pour himself a beer too and noticed Emma's bummed out look, "Y-you want to come?" he asked Emma politely.

Emma tried so hard not to look so embarressed and opened her mouth to answer-

"Manny had said you and Kelly were.." he drifted off, glancing back at his girl friend, "having a rough time, so I wasn't sure?"

Not ever did Emma feel so mad at Manny, and Manny had done some things to her, but this topped the worse...telling Lucas HER business and letting him say it out loud, right infront of Jay? Emma wanted to scream and storm off right there, but she swallowed her pride; painfully.

"We're fine." she bit out, lying and ignoring the gaze from Jay, knowing he was looking at her, "We just work a lot, but maybe another time." she looked away from them and sipped her beer.

Not too look obvious, she stayed for one more hour, then decided it was okay to finally leave, and she ran right out of there.

She hid herself in her room, knowing the drunk idiots would come home and just get drunker here. She bursted into tears and felt her heart twisting the way it did the night she followed Jay to Niagara Falls.

She landed on her bed with a thud and yelped when her bed finally broke, her bed frame breaking in half and mattress landed hard on the floor with her on it. Served her right I guess since she didn't properly screw it in...

Emma sniffed and kept sitting on the broken mattress and bent her knees up, hugging herself.

_**(so soon-Marianas trench)  
I know we  
Said it's just as well that I won't keep, keep you for myself  
But, I don't want to see you happier with somebody else**_

Oh, why can't you just be lo-lo, lo lo-lo, lo lonely?  
Why can't you just be lo-lo, lo lo-lo, lo lonely?  
Why can't you just be lo-lo, lo lo-lo, lo lonely?  
I know you need someone too  
This just feels so soon

Emma now sat on the floor, working on the bed frame again with a tool box beside her, screw driver in her hand and trying to build it again, still crying and crying harder when it just wouldn't work.

Nothing ever worked for her!

Was she just meant to be miserable forever? Is that is? Is that what her life was leading up to?

She could hear that everyone was back, but thankfully left her alone, but the door opened as she threw the screw driver away in anger and then looked up to the intruder.

Jay's icy eyes pierced through hers and he slowly walked in, and they stayed staring at another even as he bent down and grabbed the screw driver for himself.

"It won't work." Emma snuffled, trying to stop crying and not look so hurt.

His eyes just longed on her until he blinked and looked away to the bed, bending down, leaning on his knees as he worked on the bed for her, beside her.

Her eyes watched him work, and it easily did for him, putting the screws in place and he gave the frames a tug, seeing it not budging, just what they wanted.

"Works if you're just patient." he simply told her, voice deep and calm, and turned his face to look at her and she softened, getting lost while looking at him.

She opened her mouth but the door knocked and they both turned there heads to the real intruder.. Bree. She stood there basically naked, short shorts on and a cut belly top on, showing off her leg tattoos and rose, beneath her pierced belly botton, her long blonde hair curled so nicely.

Though she was sick?

"Baby, come to bed." she pouted sexily, leaning on the door frame as if she was in a porno.

Emma looked away when Jay just nodded slightly and looked back at Emma. How could she compete with that? Girl really did look like a porn star and here Emma was, alone on the floor, puffy eyes, snuffling nose.. couldn't even fix a bed herself, she was a loss.

Bree walked off and when Emma thought Jay stood up to go, he just leaned on her wall, crossing his arms and looking down at her.

"What?" Emma said in a whisper like tone, coughing and trying to find her voice.

He shrugged, looking around, "Bad night?" he asked her

Emma hid her cringe.. he knew, ofcourse he knew, look at the state she was in.

"Is it Kelly?" he asked, barely looking as if he cared when he asked. Probably had Bree on his mind and wanting to get back to her, Emma was just standing in his way.

Oh right, Kelly, they broke up tonight..

Emma just ran a hand through her hair and shrugged, pulling herself up and replied, "I'll be fine."

"Course you will be." he seemed to say a bit oddly, but his face was hard to read when she gave him a wierd look.

"Jaaaaay." they heard Bree whine from the other room and Emma bit down on her tounge hard, glancng out her door and back to Jay who leaned off the wall.

"Night." was all he said, and left, tossing one more glance over his shoulder until out of sight.

Emma laid in bed that night, and it was hard to fall asleep, it took her three hours to finally do it. She didn't know if she was being paranoid or not, but she swore she heard Bree giggling and moaning. Emma even had the covers over her head and finally drifted off..


	14. Slowly Killing Me

_Emma woke up in the middle of the night needing the bathroom, and as she creaked her door open she looked down the hall to make sure Bree's door was shut and then went between their rooms to the washroom._

_She flicked the light on and when she went to turn to close the door she gasped in horror and shut her eyes, catching her breath, "Jay."_

_He stood there, looking down at her and just wearing his black baggy pants, his jizzled body showing off._

_She went to close the door after giving him a wierd look for being so quiet and closed the door, but his leg stuck out and stopped it from closing._

_"What are yo-" Emma was cut off as he pushed her back, gently but sternly, keeping his hands on her hips and kicked the door shut behind him, leaning her up and against the sink, grabbing the back of her thighs and lifting her on it and she automatically wrapped her legs around his waist, feeling his hard on and she groaned, missing the feel of him inside her._

_"Jay."_

_He leaned down inches from her face and went to kiss her and she leaned up but pouted when he taunted her, "Tell me you miss me." he ordered, before kissing her._

_"I miss you." she whimpered, feeling him press into her, "A lot." she pleaded, cupping his face in her hands and leaned up, kissing him hard._

_His tounge danced with hers and her heart beated so fast she swore it'd burst, and his hands roamed around her body, pushing her tank top up and her braless chest showed off as he groped them and she grinded herself this time against him._

_He growled, in as much need as her and gripped her hair playfully around his fist, rising her face an inch from his again and moved back when she tried to grind against him again and whined a bit, needing him so damn fucking badly._

_She knew what he was waiting for, and she was glad to say it, missing him every day like nothing else._

_"I love you." she panted breathlessly._

_She cried out when he plunged into her-_

"Emma! Wake up." Emma snapped her eyes open and gasped, sitting up and waking up in her bed from that little, sex dream.

Oh my ..god.

Emma blinked and looked around then up over at Manny at her door in horror.

"Lunch time." Manny beamed, flashing her dimples and then left.

Emma fell back onto her back still panting, and mouthed 'what?!' to herself. She felt her heart still pounding like a hammer.

When she got it together, she got ready and noticed herself REALLY putting effort in it today. She wore a plaid red shirt that tied near her belly botton, showing off some skin and her top buttons maybe un did to show off a bit of cleavage.. to end it, black short shorts. She blow dried her hair into a wavy style and it stopped just below her chest, happy her hair was growing longer. Even it was just a dream, the part where Jay use to tug her hair a lot was real, so she knew he liked it too, long.

Emma went to the backyard where Lucas cooked burgers and Jay helped him, Jane and Spinner were gone away on their trip. Manny painted her toe nails on the patio table where Bree sipped on her lunch time wine.

"Don't worry." Lucas said, noticing Emma as he flipped the burgers, "We got you veggie burgers."

Emma just smiled widely and next to Lucas, Jay snuck a glance at her and eyed her, seeing her in a much better mood today.

"Good." she said chirply, leaning over the side of the barbeque, and stealing a celery stick near Jay and turned to go sit with the girls.

Lucas glanced up and beside him, watching Jay stare at Emma go, "Don't be so obvious." he taunted and Jay snapped out of it.

"Just wondering where the real Emma went." joked Jay, but narrowed his eyes watching her laughing with Manny, which he hadn't seen her do in a while..

he smirked a bit and stole a celery stick himself, chewing into it.

"I still can't believe she's dating him." Manny laughed, talking about Liberty with Peter as they all sat down to eat.

Emma giggled with her and shrugged her shoulder, "Gotta start somewhere I guess." she grabbed her cup of juice.

Manny was cracking up and pointed at Emma when she remembered some memories, "Remember what a loser he was? Trying to blackmail me to sleep with him with that tape, and when he wanted you, he actually thought he could race and beat Sean Cameron?"

At the mention of Sean Cameron, even Bree's eyes darted to Emma, and Manny even shut her mouth tightly..but Emma did something nobody was expecting, not even Jay.

"Yup, that was pretty crazy." Emma said, remembering that and giggled softly, "Sean knew his cars."

She talked about him with such ease, and Manny stared in awe at her friend. No tears, no fake smiles.. Emma was actually perfectly **fine**.

"That he did..." drifted Jay, eyes still carefully on Emma, wondering if this was just an act but Emma went on to talking

"We should go out tonight." she told Manny, happy they were for once acting like real best friends, spending time together too.

"No more drinking." groaned Bree, rubbing her head, "I'll hurl."

But Emma looked to Manny, more asking her and Manny smiled brightly, "I'm in." she shrugged like it was simple answer and the best friends smiled at another, "Luke?" Manny asked her boyfriend.

"I go where you go babe." he sighed heavily as if it was annoying but was just teasing and chuckled, looking to Jay, "How bout it man? Don't leave me alone with these two."

Emma sent him a playful glare, sipping her drink but snuck her eyes at Jay who seemed deep in thought, "Sure."

From the inside, Emma jumped up and down, and tried to keep a cool and calm face on.

"Does this make me look fat?" Manny asked later that night, coming out and wearing a tight bright pink dress.

Emma sat wearing a hip hugging short black lace dress, it was strapless and her hair was in a sexy side bun, smokey eye make up on.

The guys were in normal clothes, just hair a bit more styled.

"Yes." taunted Jay, eyes on the tv and bored, wanting to leave.

"Manny you tried on 100 outfits and you looked smoking hot in all of them, can we go now?" groaned Lucas.

Emma giggled a little as Manny rolled her eyes smiling, "Fine, lets go."

They took Jay's car, and the girls sat in the back as the guys up front, blasting the radio, but it wasn't as nearly as loud as the club surprisingly.

"What's with girls just wanting to go out and dance?" Lucas joked, sitting at their table with Jay as Emma and Manny went dancing.

Jay removed his eyes off the guys surrounding themselves around Emma who danced with Manny, wearing way too short of a dress, hair should be down and not up, not showing off her bare smooth tanned shoulders.

"I don't know." Jay cleared his throat, trying to focus on guy talk.

Lucas glanced to Emma and narrowed his eyes at Emma, "You're not exactly moving on are you?" he asked him.

Jay got his shot from the bartender and looked at Lucas seriously, before downing it and it burned his throat as he gulped it down and glanced back to Emma, laughing angelically with Manny.

"Do you ever w-wonder why there are clouds above us?" Manny asked them, sitting back in Jay's car as Emma giggled madly with her, both drunk.

Lucas snorted, glancing over his shoulder at his drunk girl friend and commented, "Yeah like, why not grass?" he teased.

"Or buildings." Emma offered.

Manny pointed at her, "That'd be cool." she admitted, "Buildings over buildings..what a world that'd be."

"_What a world, what a world."_ Lucas qouted Wizard of Oz in a witchy voice and the girls cracked up again, shaking and laughing really hard.

"Let's get your drunk asses home." Jay taunted, snickering himself and glancing in his mirror at the girls in the back and caught Emma's glance.

He smirked and shook his head, starting the car.

The back door banged open and Manny stumbled in Lucas' arms until he put his arms under her, scooping her up over his shoulder, "I got this one, you take care of the other." he joked over his shoulder when Jay followed Emma inside.

Emma hopped on one foot, taking her high heels off as the couple left, "I'm fine." she said rather proudly, throwing her show away at the other side of the wall and began to work on the other one.

Jay raised his eyebrows in an amused way, "That so?" he taunted, not convinced as she yelped and he caught her arm as her other hand went on his shoulder before she fell when she yanked the shoe off too hard when leaning on one foot and she giggled, finally throwing that shoe away and stood on two better balanced feet.

He slowly let go of her and she looked up at him to see him staring down at her, his eyes searching around her features and she swallowed nervously, her heart skipping a beat.. what was he looking at?

He looked away, "You need water." he insisted, going to the sink and grabbing a cup.

They sat on the couch in the tv room, Tv off and only one small lamp on, making it dim but enough to see, Jay was leaning back and watching her down the water to the very end and she sat her butt on the back of her ankles, sitting on her knees beside him.

She ugh'd in annoyance, yanking bobby pins out of her hair and shook her head, letting her hair fall down over her shoulders and he watched in a trance as it did until she caught him staring

He cleared his throat, "Time for bed?"

"Are you _making _me?" she asked, her tone a bit playful and tilted her head, seeing the corner of his mouth twitch.

"Nobody can make you do anything, Emma." he teased and she raised an eyebrow.

"That's true.." she drifted off, a small smirk forming on her lips as he eyed her closely.

What was with her tonight?

She looked back to him, eyeing him just as dangerously, "Maybe _you_ should go to bed," she added a bit more tauntingly, "with **Bree**."

He smirked, and it grew into a wide naughty grin, "That jealousy I detect?"

"Maybe." Emma mumbled, looking away as she played with her hands a bit childishly..ready to admit it, but not look him in the eye while doing so.

He raised an eyebrow and stood up, "Fine, if you can't sit here like an adult and give me real answers, then see yeah." he went to leave, shut off the lamp beside her but before he went to go, he felt her hand grab his, turning him infront of her.

He stared down at her in the dark, her sitting innocently up on her knees on the couch, but staring up at him not so innocently as she bit that lower lip sexily and let go his hand, her fingers going to his belt, eyes never leaving his and looking determined as she slowly un did it and pulled it out of the loop. His eyes burned into hers and as if he had no control over his own body or hands, his fingers wrapped around her chin like it use to. She melted to his touch. Her head was in the perfect place for her to go down on him, and she looked awfully like she wanted to, badly, but he raised her head to look up more and bent down, crashing his lips hard onto hers as he shut his eyes tight. No one could ever tell you who missed anothers touch more.

She closed her eyes and saw stars and instantly opened her mouth, letting his tounge push in and against hers in a needful rythm, and she'd playfully bite on his lower lip now and then as he crawled over her on the couch on top of her, moving his head slightly to kiss her deeper and she whimpered between the kiss.

_**(Trip-Hedley)  
Some say love is not for sinners  
I believe that isn't true  
'Cause when I was finished sinning  
Love came down and showed me you**_

A door opened and light shined through down the hall. Emma and Jay split away breathless and tried to keep quiet, Emma's head tossed back a bit to look who it was and from an upside down view, saw a tired Bree drag her feet to the bathroom, not even noticing them and she felt Jay's head look back down at her as his hot breath swayed down her chest, and he began to kiss around her collar one and neck when the bathroom door shut. Emma cupped his face and kissed him again, she could feel his heart pounding against her chest and it made her kiss him harder, never wanting to stop.

They heard the toilet flush and then a sink go on and knew Bree would come out any second. Jay kissed Emma more tenderly and she sadly ran her fingers through his hair, knowing he knew he needed to go, but she didn't want him to. He pulled away and kissed her nose and forehead before he snapped right off of her like if he stayed another moment, he'd die.

Emma laid in her bed now, biting her finger almost nervously and curled into a ball, thousands of thoughts running through her head and hoping, WISHING, Bree didn't make a move on Jay when he went back into her room.

_**And you told me how to get there  
so I tried to find a way,  
I ran through the garden,  
but I tripped on the gate,  
but I tripped on the gate.**_

_**[Chorus:]**__**  
What are you doing to me?  
I'm so into you  
And the hardest part is knowing  
That I'll never follow through  
You're slowly killing me  
And I wish it wasn't true  
Cause I'm so into you**_


	15. You Gotta Be Cruel To Be Kind

Emma swiftly came down the stairs, excited to see Jay this morning and knew today Bree would be at school, but as she quietly went down the stairs, not on purpose, she walked into a conversation without people even hearing her come in.

"One drunk night and you let your gaurd down? Jay you're suppose to resist her, let her see what she gave up, not surrender at her mercy the very first chance she gives you!" came Manny's voice.

Emma slowly stopped before walking into the kitchen and hid around the corner a little, listening in. What were they talking about? Her?

Jay's voice spoke up, "How do I know it wouldn't be the only chance with her I'd ever get again? It's been months Manny, she still hasn't brought up what was said in Niagara, the plan hasn't been really working out."

"I know her! And she DOES love you back, I know it, she's been so jealous! But you can't just give her what she wants or you're giving her all the power!" Manny said.

Emma couldn't believe her ears, she was set up, what was this big plan? Was all these months set up to _mak_e her feel miserable and jealous? They wanted to hurt her like this, purposely? Did they know how many times she cried the past few months?

"She's had the power from the beginning, don't you get that!" shouted Jay and Manny hissed at him to lower his voice, he huffed and there was more silence, "I can't keep lying to her, that's all she thinks I am, a liar."

Emma stared coldly at the ground, what were they lying to her about? Jay was right about that though, all the trust was slowly washing away.. Was Jay trying to teach her a lesson? This was sick..

"We didn't get Bree on this for nothing." came Manny's reply.

Emma's eyes widen, Bree was in on this? To make Emma regret giving up Jay? .. so, was their relationship a lie?

She turned around, creeping back up the stairs slowly and looked back once more at who she called her lover and best friend...two liars.

"Emma?" the blonde heard a few hours later, Manny coming inside.

Emma bit the end of her tounge but bared a fake smile, "Hey."

"Look," she sighed deeply, sitting down next to her on her bed, playing nervously with her hands.

Emma eyed her...maybe there was hope Manny would come clean..

"I heard from Kelly that things didn't work out." Manny said and Emma eyed her closer. About Kelly..was he real? Was he any part of the plan? How could Emma ever know or trust these people again?

"No.." Emma whispered, still upset about this then acted unaware, "Just didn't work out for either of us." she bared another fake smile.

Manny pouted for her and then smiled a little, "So how come you seem okay? Are there...any other guys around?"

What did Manny want Emma to say? To come clean about Jay? How she realised she _was_ in love with him the whole time and did regret losing him?

Emma would never fess up until these two liars came clean too.

"Nope." she declared.

She noticed Manny frown deeply, "Nobody?"

Emma shook her head no and raised an eyebrow as Manny eyed her and seemed taken back. Emma looked to the clock, "I gotta go, see you for dinner?"

Manny just nodded and looked blankly at her and Emma got up and left.

Emma went straight to Sheridan.. Bree's school

Bree walked out, and to Emma's awe, she held a guys hand.. a guy who probably didn't know about her little 'plan' with another guy. What WAS their deal anyway?

"Hey Bree." Emma greeted, stepping in there way and Bree stared in shock and yanked her hand out the guys.

The guy stared wierdly between them and at Bree more, "What's wrong honey?"

"I-I'm sorry, me and Emma go a bit..back."

"A bit back?" Emma snapped with a bitter laugh, giving her a look that told Bree that Emma knew something was up.

Bree looked down and sadly at her boyfriend, "We'll meet up later." she promised, before grabbing Emma's hand.

Emma and her sat down at a small table, it was an outside cafe and Bree held her coffee, sipping slowly.

"I don't have all day." snapped Emma.

Bree swallowed hard and looked around before leaning forward, "What do you know?"

"Nothing!" Emma yelled back, tears fighting their way to her eyes no matter how hard she tried to stop them, "I'm so confused, and being lied to by my friends, friends who are like family.. Jay." she cried.

Bree's shoulders fell, and her face washed over in pain, feeling sorry for Emma as she looked down and sadly back up, "I've been pretending to be with Jay since Niagara happened between you two."

Emma's mouth fell open and stared.

Bree nodded, "He came back, everyone saw he was different, _ruined_. He dumped me on the spot, infront of everyone and I left.. and I guess Lucas and Manny got it out of him that _you_ made him that way, you hurt him."

Emma felt a little bad, Bree didn't deserve that, she didn't know about Emma and Jay's history. Emma also had no idea Jay was so heart broken after what happened..

Bree went on, "Suddenly there's a knock on my door, with Lucas, asking for some cousinly favors." she snickered, shaking her head, "I'd just been accepted to college, randomly, no plans, and Lucas offered a place to stay, if I'd pretend to be with Jay, and make you jealous."

Emma cursed under her breath..those little..

The girl continued, "Lucas said rent would be free.. and I thought what the hell? Jay was cute, maybe hurt me a little but, I'd get something out of this."

Emma looked hurt, but nodded slowly, knowing Bree didn't mean to really hurt her.

Bree sighed, looking at Emma seriously, "The guys just in love with you, you can't blame him, he was really not on board with this whole thing but Manny insisted it was something you needed, to get over your fear of love, to move on with your life with someone who'd make you happy and it's not easy for her to admit Jay does make you happy." Bree pierced her lips together tightly before wincing at Emma, "I don't think it's easy for YOU To admit Jay makes you happy."

"he does.." Emma drifted off sadly, looking away still hurt.

"He's an amazing guy." whispered Bree, leaning forward, "You're _lucky _to get a guy to love you the way he does. I'd KILL for that." she then snorted, gestering to the guy she was with, "Chad doesn't have patience like Jay did for you, waiting for you to be ready.."

Emma's heart stung, she was so right

"I mean.." Bree cringed, feeling sorry for bringing it up but had to say it, "Did Sean love you the way Jay does?"

Emma felt her stomach turn, realising she never had love or a connection with anyone the way she did with Jay.

"How am I suppose to trust them?" Emma asked her.

"Hey." smirked Bree, pointing at Emma, "Don't think I don't know things, what do you think me and Jay did while pretending to be in my room together? We'd just..talk.. and I know you had a thing with him behind Manny's back before too.." she shrugged slowly, "Some things you gotta be cruel to be kind."

Emma nodded slowly, slightly smiling, she was sorta right.

"I'm sorry I hated you." cringed Emma, giggling slightly as Bree laughed.

"I'm sorry I was in on this plan, I really did grow to like you but, a deal is a deal and it wasn't bad having eye candy on my arm... my girl friends LOVED Jay." she teased, receiving a playful glare from Emma.

"He is a charmer.." breathed Emma, thinking about him and getting lost in though.

"I'll tell you what." Bree said, getting up from the table, "I won't tell Jay I know you know about everything, if you promise one thing."

"What's that?"

"Go easy on him." begged Bree, giving a sad smile, "You really did hurt him the last time."

Emma frowned deeply, her heart torn up thinking about the actual power she really did have over Jay. She had really said mean things, things she didn't mean..

"


	16. Playing Games

Emma opened the door to loud laughing and a bunch of people talking, Spinner and Jane were probably home from their trip.

Dinner smelt great, pasta and salad.

"Eminem is in the house." joked Spinner, standing up and going over, hugging her from not seeing her in weeks.

She laughed a bit, guess strangely enough she would call Spinner one of her good friends. Jane smiled by the stove, helping Manny cook and waved her spatula.

Emma noticed Jay come down from the stairs and Bree was already seated down at the table with Lucas, and they shared a small knowing smirk before he made his entrance.

The two connected eyes and Jay gave a small nod before sitting down next to Bree and Emma tilted her head, she wondered how he thought she'd do it, if he really thought Emma would beg him to leave Bree and be with her? I don't know, give it a few more weeks if she didn't find out and maybe she would of but Jay was right about one thing, she was one stubborn girl, and his plan was found out..and she'd make the little devil pay.

"What'd you do today?" Manny asked Emma, coming to the table with all the salad dressing, Jane with the pasta sause and they all sat down.

Emma dug into the salad, the boys into the pasta and meat balls, "I met up with Kelly actually." she lied, a small smirk hidden.

Manny and Jay shared a bit of an alarmed glance, and Jay clenched his jaw, trying to focus on his beer in his hand.

"We're definetly working things out." Emma confirmed and by the look of Manny's shocked face, she guessed at least Kelly and her relationship wasn't a lie...just Bree and Jay's..after Niagara and all.

"B-but I thought-" Manny was cut off.

Jay snapped out of nowhere, "How do you work things out with an **idiot** who doesn't even pay attention to you?" he was fuming, and Emma did disco dances in her head, knowing she was getting to him.

Time for a little pay back.

"How would you know that?" Emma shot back at him, raising an eyebrow. She had only told Manny about what was between her and Kelly, so clearly these two have been working together for awhile.

Manny gave Jay a deathly look and Emma watched him almost twitch with how bad he held his anger in. She wanted to even giggle but kept it in.. he was so cute when mad.

"Nevermind." he scoffed, digging his fork into his food.

"So you're back together?" Jane asked, confused and looking between everybody. Spinner stared dumbfounded too and felt the tension. What the hell happened while they were away?!

"I think we are." Emma gave a real, big smile...because even though that was a lie, she was having the time of her life getting these two back and playing with Jay's head like he'd played hers a little bit.

Bree was having trouble keeping her laughter in as she sipped her wine.

"Infact, I have to meet him after dinner." Emma declared, looking at Manny and then at Jay a little longingly.. he was giving her the stare down of a lifetime.

Jane and Bree cleared the table as Manny went straight to her and Lucas' room with him, probably freaking out about the plan back firing, and Emma watched entertainingly as Jay split from Spinner from the couch and went out the front door with a cigerette, slamming the door behind him.

Emma tossed Bree a look before she grabbed her jean jacket and slipped it on, chasing after him. He stood on the porch and turned while lighting the cigerette and his nose flared in anger as smoke exited when he saw her.

It really was a sight Emma wished she could take a photo of. She decided to keep on walking and go around him, as if going to Kellys.

She gasped when his hand grabbed her arm, holding her back and twirling her back to fae him, "If you go to him-"

"You'll what?" Emma snapped back, raising an eyebrow...get Manny to do the pay back for him?

He stared coldly and jealously into her eyes and she softened a bit, it wasn't nice hurting him this bad..

"We'll talk later." she simply said, and yanked her arm out but he dropped his cigerette and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her up against him and she yelped for his mouth to crash down onto hers, and she melted into his arms, sighing into his mouth as she kissed back, wrapping her arms around his neck. She hated smokers, so how the hell did he make it so good to kiss him?!

They pulled away breathless, eyes still closed and hearts beating fast and Emma cursed silently, trying to remember she had her own plan so shoved him away from her and walked off as fast as she could, feeling him watch her until out of sight into the darkness

Bed time was near and Jay sat in Emma's room on the edge of her bed, waiting for her to get back, they needed to talk, he needed to tell her the truth, about everything. He groaned, putting his head into his hands.

"Hey." Bree greeted, coming in and looking around, "Where's Emma?"

Jay sighed, looking at her and shrugged, "She'll be back." he swore, as if talking to himself.

"You know.." drifted Bree, looking a bit suspicious as she walked in and held two silk scarfs. Jay blinked and saw her stop infront of him seductive like, and he slid back more onto Emma's bed before she crawled over him but she kept going until he was back against the wall of the bed.

"Bree, what are you doing?" he snapped, narrowing his eyes sharply at her, this wasn't part of the deal. He was so confused and trying to crawl back more even though right up against the wall, that he didn't take notice to her hand tying up his one hand since she was trying to sit on his lap.

"Relax." Bree said, tying the knot and he then noticed a hand was tied and moved his other hand away from her when she went to grab it, "I've been doing some reading and what really threatens and ex girl friend, is finding out a guys new girl is more exciting in bed.. what's more exciting then tying you to a bed? HER bed? Her catching us maybe fooling around?"

Jay tried not to snicker, someone more exciting then Emma in bed? He was already drooling by the reminder of the way Emma's moans were, and when she screamed his name.. the things she'd try.

"Damnit Bree." snapped Jay madly, seeing she tied him up and he tried to get out of it. She got him when he was lost in thought, smart girl, "Untie me! She's not like your stupid girly magazines, she wouldn't forgive me for this." he started to sneer, pulling so hard against the scarf that was tied in triple knots, not letting him go anywhere.

His eyes started to widen when Bree took off her top, revealing a black push up bra, and he really tried to get out of this now. His wrists started to redden and sore.

He cursed and begged God not to let Emma come home and see this as Bree began to unbotton her jeans until he heard a giggle, and opened his eyes, looking at her like she was crazy but at least she was putting her top back on.

"Relax Jay, just a little pay back for dumping me infront of everyone." she teased and he tried to calm down, catching his breath until his heart stopped.. Emma had walked in, stopping in her tracks and looking around in utter shock.

"What is this?" Emma whispered, looking hurt and crossed her arms, looking at Jay.

"Em." Jay's eyes widen, his whole world crashing down, "Emma just wait, and let me explain."

"You're fooling around with _her_, in my **bed**?" Emma worked up some tears and he swallowed the pain in his throat and shook his head no frantically.

"You don't get it-"

"Aww look at him." pouted Bree next to Emma, tilting her head at Jay who gave her a hateful look but then a confused one, wait.. what the hell was going on?

Emma's tears seemed to go away in a snap and she smiled a little, turning to Bree, "Thanks for tying him up." she joked.

"sorry I couldn't get the gag into his mouth." teased Bree, giggling as Emma rolled her eyes smiling and watched her go, shutting the door behind her.

Emma tilted her head at Jay, still smiling softly and climbed a little on the end of the bed as he was tied to the posts at the top, "You look good like that." she taunted.

He opened his mouth for his face to look like a light bulb appeared over his face and his eyes darkened, "You know." he simply stated and she shrugged playfully, nodding.

"I know."


	17. For You I Fall So Fast

"I know."

He tried to hide his smirk, not knowing if this was actually going well or not, "How much trouble am I in?" he asked curiously.

"A lot.." she drifted, sitting up and onto her knees, taking hold of the ends of her tank top and lifted it up over her head and throwing it to the side.

Jay swallowed hard, twitching in his pants and eyes roaming her perfect body as she soothed her hand down the middle of her toned stomach, stopping near the button of her jeans. She wore his favorite bra, the leopard one, her blonde hair brushing against it.. her breasts lifted so perfectly, curves showing off.

His mouth was dry and his eyes sort of begged for her.

"If this is my punishment." he laughed a bit, yet sorely, feeling himself hard and swelling up for her, "I gotta admit, sorta feels like an award.." he pierced his teeth together tightly as she leaned on her hands and knees over him, getting a nice view of between her breasts, and she was smoothing her hands up his thighs to his belt, ripping it open.

He cursed a bit, fighting the scarfs around his wrists again and looking back at Emma.

"Think you can untie me?" he uneasily teased, wanting to get his hands on her but she just raised an eyebrow at him, not doing that and looking cheeky. Oh god, he groaned at just the thought of it, she was going to **torche**r him.

It really was a punishment.

She sat on him, grinding her hips into his hardness, and putting her hands on his shoulders as he growled in pleasure and struggled with trying to get loose, and his teeth clenched when she kissed him softly and when he tried to kiss her back, she pulled away and got off him

"We'll make a deal.." she confirms, giving him an ironic sarcastic look. Yup, this'll teach him to never plan things behind her back again

He watched her climb off the bed and slide her jeans off, just standing there in bra and panties, no hands to praise that body as he watched painfully. Emma giggled just a little.

"Get out of this bondage yourself? You can have me." she promised, "all of me." she tossed over her shoulder while walking to the door, showing him she had high black heels on with her sexy little outfit.

God he was DYING here. She smiled once more seeing the pain across his face and grabbed her house coat, about to leave.

"No Kelly?" he spoke up, "No other guys...ever.. All mine?" he asked, needing to know the deal, and his voice held true emotion in his tone, the need of just her, her and him, together, for real.

She turned, with a promising look this time, no smiles, "All yours, mind, body and heart." she swore quietly, leaning on her door frame and biting her lip while sharing a look with him as he slightly nodded and she did so back, showing the love she had for him through her eyes and his heart pounded, watching her leave and he began to struggle with all he could.

Emma wore her silk black coat now, tying it in a knot as she entered the kitchen. Spinner and Jane went to bed and Emma guessed so did the other couple, and she began to wash some dishes as Manny came in from behind her.

"Hi." she said.

Emma looked up and bit her cheek before turning the water off and turned, "hi." she greeted back and eyed Manny.

Something was...different about her.

She seemed happy, yet she held tears in her eyes and Emma tilted her head, "Are you okay?" Evil plan behind her back or not, Emma loved Manny like a sister.

Oh no, did Lucas hurt her? Emma swore he was going to be the one.

Manny lifted her hand, a diamond ring flashing into Emma's eyes and Emma's mouth fell. An engagment ring.

"Lucas just asked me to marry him." Manny cried happily and choked on her tears, going to Emma and hugging her tightly.

Emma pulled away, stunnned, but laughed, oh my god, "Manny! You're...getting married!" she exclaimed, so happy for her.

The two squeeled and laughed, sharing one more hug until Manny showed her the ring.

"Really though?" Emma teased, while gawking the ring, "after a plate of pasta, you go to bed and that's how he proposes?"

"Em he had this whole big plan but he was sweating like a pig." giggled Manny, "I even yelled at him to stop, and then he just blurted it out. I felt so bad, he planned a trip to Cuba and everything and was just going to tell me he got the tickets, but I guess 'marry me' blurted out accidently instead." Manny explained.

Emma smiled softly, that was pretty cute..

"The ring is very you." she told Manny, "he really loves you." she said and then took a deep breath, glancing at her room and wondering how Jay was making out.

"I have to tell you something." Manny confessed, and Emma raised an eyebrow, she was finally going to say sorry? "I'm not apologising for what I did." she said with eyes shut, taking a deep breath.

Emma crossed her arms...oh, really?

Manny explained it all, "I forced Jay to stay in a fake relationship with Bree after I found out about what happened in Niagara Falls; I knew he told you he was in love with you and there was a fight because he came home completely heart broken and ripped apart." she swallowed hard, and even if she wasn't going to apoligse, Emma could see SOME guilt, "I wanted you to see he was the one for you, he knows all your flaws Emma and he's STILL crazy in love with you, he's not perfect either, none of us are but he was the reason you carried on after Sean's death, he's the reason you were happy again. You loved him back and I could see it in your eyes cause you looked at him the way I look at Lucas."

Emma looked guilty, and slowly nodded. It was true.

Manny continued, "And I know it's big bad _Jay Hogart._" she laughed, but cried as well, feeling bad about having to do all this to Emma to make her realise, "But he's been around since you met him, he's been your secret protector from a far for years, and I think he's going to be the greatest love of your life and greatest loss if you don't tell him you love him too."

Emma whipped her tears and nodded, trying to smile, "I know." she pulled Manny into a hug, shocking the girl but she hugged back, happy Emma wasn't so mad.

"I like you being happy again, Em." whispered Manny.

"I am." cried Emma, nodding and so sure, "I love you." she pulled away and laughed, whipping the rest of the tears away, "And I love _him_, big **stupid **bad _Jay Hogart_." the two giggled and Emma went back to gawking Manny's new ring.

Wow. How things have changed since little girls..

Emma hugged Manny goodnight and went to go check on Jay in her room, as she went in, she blinked and looked around the empty bed, where the hell was he.

From behind, like a horror movie, Jay closed the door from behind her and gasped and turned, then started to giggle.

"I think I dislocated my shoulder." Jay informed, giving her a playful death look as he showed her his arm and she rubbed it with her hand.

"Awe." Emma laughed but pouted, leaning her head down and kissed his shoulder lightly.

He looked down at her so lovingly and she peaked a look up at him under her long eyelashes and he smirked, putting his hands to her hips.

"You meant it right?" Jay asked.

Emma bit her lip and nodded, but smiled a little shyly, "Didn't actually think you'd get out of that though." she admitted, glancing at the bed, "But I would of given you a shot even if you didn't."

"Woulda been nice to know before I pulled my shoulder out." he teased, playing with the knot on her house coat, slowly untying it but kept a stern eye on her.

Ugh, the smoldering look, got her every time.

"So _this_? All mine now?" Jay asked and she laughed a bit shyly, nodding and putting her hands on his chest as he untied it and gawked her body, yet, getting her naked before him, the next thing he did was lean down, and kiss her..deeply. Emma moaned into the kiss and slowly kissed back, loving the feel of the tender but deep kissing, he definetly showed he loved her through his kisses and she loved it

She yelped when he grabbed her up, and they landed on the bed with her on top of him and his hands gripping her hips as she straddled him, tossing her hair to one side of her shoulders. His eyes sparkled.

The two laid in bed after fooling around a bit and Jay just held her, as her finger tips played along his chest. The lights were out now and Emma got comfortable in his arms.

"Manny and Lucas are engaged.." Emma told Jay.

Jay nodded, putting his hand on the side of her face, and kissing her forehead, "I heard half the talk you had with Manny as I was planning my escape." he teased.

She giggled, and it went silent again.

Before she went into slumber, Jay spoke up once more with a serious deep tone, "Would you ever want that?..." more silence, "..with me?"

Emma blinked with a shocked expression. Jay Hogart kept on shocking her. She moved her head up to look at him and caught his eyes, "Would _you _want that?" was more the question.

The end of his lips curled, and he nodded slowly with a shrug, "With the right girl." he kept his smile on, knowing he was talking about her. She's the only right girl he's ever been with. No one in the past had been able to change him, except her. Woah, she really had. Miss Save the World, saved him .

Emma's heart skipped more and she tried to hide her smile, melting more into his arms and closed her eyes.

_**Fall... With you, I fall so fast  
I can hardly catch my breath, I hope it lasts**_

_**[Chorus:]**__**  
Ohhhhh  
It seems like I can finally rest my head on something real  
I like the way that feels  
Ohhhhh  
It's as if you know me better than I ever knew myself  
I love how you can tell  
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me  
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me**_

(Ashlee simpson- pieces of me)


	18. Life Is Perfect

"No, this isn't... this isn't RIGHT!" screamed Manny, throwing a bouque of flowers on the kitchen table before storming off.

Emma sat at the same table, with Liberty too, and raised her eyebrows in shock at her best friend who ran off crying then up to her boyfriend who leaned on the kitchen sink, sipping his mug of morning coffee.

"What was _that_?" Jay worded her breakdown.

Liberty look to Emma who looked shocked still, "Cold feet?"

Emma nodded and got up out of her chair as Jay smirked at her, "Are you gonna chase her now? Do that girl talk thing?" he taunted and she rolled her eyes smiling.

It's been 8 months of her and Jay Hogart together officially now, yes they had their fights..but most of them were to get the make up sex.

"I'm the best at it." Emma said back in a sing song playful voice, going after Manny.

This left Jay and Liberty awkwardly left alone in the kitchen as Liberty gave him a 'really?' look.

"God is it Manny getting married or you two?" Liberty taunted him

"Van zandt, are you_ jealous_?" Jay mocked her, still a little amused he was more in touch with her than Towerz now. How things have changed..

How ..sad.

"We can have a little something on the side lines?" Jay taunted again, winking at her as Emma came in and saw the scene and rolled her eyes smiling.

She knew it was nothing to be threatened over, just Jay's old teasing ways creeping out. Hopefully Lib didn't take it so seriously either since Emma could swear to her Jay still called her GREENPEACE now and then.

"I don't know what you see in him." Liberty told Emma, standing up, and giving Jay a look, "Still seems like the old Jay Hogart from Degrassi to me."

"Hey I'm different." scoffed Jay, yet still had a sarcastic look on his face as he looked down at himself, "I got a new shirt.." he played with the ends of it.

Emma slapped him playfully and pouted to Liberty, "He does show SOME soul now and then." she gave him a playful glare as he swung an arm around her waist from behind.

Liberty did form a smile though as she rolled her eyes and nodded, "I'm sure. So she's okay?" Liberty asked, glancing at the exit where Manny fled and grabbed her purse,

Emma nodded, "There will be a wedding tomorrow." she promised

Liberty nodded and waved her fingers, going out the door as Emma watched her go and then felt Jay's kisses along her neck.

"I gotta go to work." Emma groaned, this wasn't fair.

Jay put his mug down and used his other hand that wasn't around her to pull her hair out of the way as he kissed up her neck more, right behind her ear which made her moan. Always a funny turn on spot for her.

Suddenly his phone beeped twice and then again after they tried to ignore it and Jay growled when Emma tore apart from him and turned toward him, "Answer it, could be Lucas."

Jay reached into his pocket and glanced at it, sighing, "You're right."

"As always." she slyly grinned, looking proud.

He smirked but rolled his eyes and snapped his phone but into his pocket, "If I knew how much time it'd take out of my day to be a groomsmen.."

"I don't think you'd take it back." Emma taunted, knowing him well, and putting her arms around his neck.

"Oh really?" he taunted, showing the old Jay Hogart stern look, "You think I **care**?"

She nodded, smiling softly up to him, "Uh huh. And I'm happy you found another new best friend..other than Spinner."

Talking about Spinner, those two, him and Jane, had moved out and gotten their own apartment after a trip to Vegas...where they got MARRIED. They went alone, so no one really got to see it or talk them out of it and Spinner said their witness' for the wedding were a look a like Elvis and Elizabeth taylor. Classic Spinner wedding.

Jay shrugged his shoulder, slowly nodding and softening up. He was glad he did too. Luke turned out to be into cars as much as him so started working at his auto shop that Jay owned now.

He then cringed, "I gotta go to work." he admitted, before sighing, "That is after I pick up Lucas' 'ruby' tie ofcourse."

Emma giggled, knowing well that Manny wanted her wedding theme to be ruby red. She was a cancer, birthday in July and so was Lucas so it seemed perfect, red everywhere.

"Isn't it the best man whose suppose to do that stuff?" Emma asked curiously.

He grabbed his keys off the counter and quickly pulled her up against him one more time, "Yup, but we know we can't rely on Spinner to do these important responsible things." he kissed her goodbye swiftly.

"But we can Jay Hogart?" Emma asked cheekily, turned on by the fact Jay was such a mature guy now. To think 9 months ago, she was trying to run away from their love.

She's crazy though, and stubborn.. she'll admit it.

He smirked, kissing her once more and let her go walking to the door, "See you tonight."

"Have fun at work!" Emma called after him and the door shut. She leaned happily against the kitchen counter and took a deep breath. She was so happy how everything turned out

Jay was perfect for her, her best friend was getting married, she was maid of honor. . What could ever go wrong?

...but lets not jinx that.

"Morning Emma." greeted a co worker as Emma walked through an office and smiled, waving.

She went to her own little small desk, not yet in her own office since just starting out, but much worth it. Emma had graduated college 2 months ago and was starting at a local newspaper office so she could write for the environment journal parts in the newspaper.

Life was perfect.

"Emma." whispered one of the assistants, walking to her desk, "Mr Cooper wants to see you in his office."

Emma swallowed hard but bared a smile and nodded before glancing at the big wooden doors at the end of the hall, through all the other writers at their desks and papers everywhere, phones ringing off the hook

Whenever anyone was called into the bosses office, there was always yelling that occured. Oh god, she did NOT want to be fired.

She stood up, and flattened her skirt before she got the courage to walk over, and she knocked two times before entering and peeking her head in, "Mr Cooper?"

"Emma Nelson, come on in." he grinned.

Emma came in and straightened up more. Woah, she'd never seen the Boss boss, supposedly he was a workaholic and always in his office, rumours were he even had a little bedroom in the back.

She always pictured some mean old overwieght man but here was a pretty clean cut guy in his thirty's, charming smile and body looking kept in shape.

"So you're the blonde this office is raving about?" he teased as she sat on the other side of his desk, on a chair where he pointed at.

Emma smiled and put a piece of hair behind her hair, actually she was sure no one really paid attention to her.. always on phones or writing notes down, typing on computers like crazy animals.

he leaned back in his chair, eyeing her, and she shifted a bit before clearing her throat, "You wanted to see me about something?"

"Relax." he teased, seeing her nervous, "You're not getting yelled at or fired.. " he smirked, "I Don't yell at girls."

Emma just laughed uneasily.

He chuckled and leaned forward, "I'm offering you your own office. You don't belong out there." he confirms, "I've read your work and you have great potentail and I feel it'd be more great if not surrounded by morons." he said.

Emma blinked but couldn't agree more, the workers out there were like so hectic. She could barely think sometimes and had to do most her writing at home.

"My own office?" as she said it, her smile grew.

He laughed and nodded, delighted by her happiness, "Room 201, it's all yours." he handed her a key and she looked at it before taking it.

"Thankyou." she breathed, still shocked and so happy. She had to tell Jay the news!

"Congradulations." he offered before looking down at his work again and grabbing a pen before looking back up at her, "you can go now."

Emma snapped out of it and shook her head, "Right." she laughed and got up. He chuckled and nodded at her as a goodbye as she quickly went out and to go find her new office

The busy streets of Toronto were honking loudly outside of Emma's office as she leaned on the buildings, 100 people passing her and squishing by as she sipped on her coffee until Jay popped out of the crowd.

"This better be important." he taunted, visiting her from work. At least he could leave his business whenever he wanted, she didn't own hers.. but she DID own her own BEAUTIFUL office now!

"Really important." she smiled happily and grabbed his hand, entering her office building. They took the elevator up and she smiled more and more whenever she glanced over at him in the elevator to see him giving her more and more of a crazy look until they reached floor 10.

He laughed a bit when she grabbed him again, still excited and he blinked when they entered a onto a different floor.

"It's quiet." he even felt the need to whisper and she giggled.

"Morning Miss Nelson." the woman at the front desk greeted as they walked by and Jay raised an eyebrow.

"Miss Nelson up here, huh?" he teased, following Emma hand in hand until they reached a glass door that Emma pushed open.

Inside, was Emma's own big black desk with a Mac computer on it and her own printer. Now she didn't have to fight other writers for the copy room. She had a classic plant at the corner of her office, and a two seater couch with a small tv up on the corner for her breaks, with a coffee table. Her own phone..

"Wow." Jay admitted, impressed and noticed her own 'Emma Nelson' sign on her door and eyed it before raising an eyebrow.

"Isn't it great?" Emma beamed, jumping up on her desk and sat on it, crossing her legs and looking up at him.

He narrowed his eyes back to her and grinned nodding, "You're a whole new woman." he teased and she laughed, shaking her head, "Good for you." he confirmed, more seriously and cupped her face, kissing her forehead and she blushed a bit, smiling and kissed him on the lips proudly.

A knock was heard and the embarrassed front desk lady sheepishly smiled, "I'm sorry Miss. Nelson, Mr Cooper was just wondering if you had the latest issue ready."

Emma blushed madly, pushing Jay away from her slightly and nodded, "I'll get it to him today." she squeeked as the lady nodded and got right out of there.

Jay chuckled and ran his fingers through Emma's blonde hair, "I'll see you in a few hours." he promised, "Kinda left the boys during the busiest hour.. just for _you_." he taunted.

She happily grinned at that though and shrugged her shoulders not so innocently and waved her fingers as a goodbye wave as he glanced once more at her before he left and chuckled.


	19. I'm A Jealous, JEalous Girl

"How was visiting your woman at work while us slaves did all the work?" joked Lucas, putting tools aside as he walked to the auto shops desk.

Jay was at it, writing new parts they needed down and laughed, "It's a Sunday, and by the total of today's work cost.." Jay drifted, looking at receipts, "Didn't look too bad."

Lucas cringed, "It's cause the phones were ringing but everyone was too busy working, we really need a secretary or somethin'."

"Perfect." said a voice as they looked up and Jay kept on staring

Holy.. hell.

Alex.

The brunette stood at their desks counter with her taunting eyebrow raised, "Cause I'm looking for a job." she crossed her arm at her ex boyfriend.

Jay's mouth hung a bit and looked back to Lucas who didn't know who Alex was so shrugged, why not? Looked like a girl who didn't mind getting messy since she wore such boyish baggy pants and a wife beater already. Lucas had to admit, she'd be hot if she just put on regular jeans and a girly tight shirt.

But that wasn't Alex.

Jay rubbed his forehead and sighed, "I don't know, not like I've know what you've been up to, have you even been working?" he taunted, "Last time I saw you your workplace was a strip club."

From behind them, a worker dropped a tool and nervously looked around and then at Alex before trying to act cool.

"Save it." Jay taunted his worker, tossing over his shoulder, "She's a lesbian."

Alex growled a little and clenched her fists, "Ah, ah." taunted Jay, "IF you're going to work for me, you need some better attitude."

"Work for-" Alex stopped and her eyes widened, "Tony doesn't own this place anymore?" she asked, and slowly got the hint at Jay's smirk, "You do?" she was stunned, yet impressed, yet shocked again and then angry! Tony liked her, knew her back from when Jay started here years ago, she was just here to get a quick simple front desk job and now she had to work for it.

"that's right, Lexy." Jay taunted and snickered, writing more stuff down on his piece of paper, "Where have you even been the past year?"

"Not me, _you_." taunted Alex, giving him a 'seriously?' look, "Towerz doesn't see you anymore, Aaron said you hadn't returned any texts after graduation and none of us had seen you for like, two years."

Jay looked up annoyingly at her, "I don't really need Aaron for anything anymore." he taunted, since Aaron was just a drug dealer back in Jay's highschool days. He was past that. He did frown deeply though to the blowing off Towerz and her though. . he just, had a new life now.

He frowned more.. was that wrong?

"Actually last time I saw you was Camerons funeral." Alex remembered and Lucas cringed, glancing at Jay who just clenched his jaw to ignore that old wound.

Lucas left them alone and Jay sighed.

"Still fooling around with Slutty Santos?" taunted Alex, changing the subject to the sad reminder Sean was gone.

Things have changed so much.

Jay snickered, how much Alex really didn't know.. he'd like to see the look on her face when he confessed to being with Emma after all this time, but he'll save it for now

"I got some errands to run." Jay said dully, looking around and eyed her, "If you want the job, you got it, but don't fuck things up. I need all this stuff on my list." he passed her a piece of paper.

She glanced at it and shrugged, "Easy." she snapped.

He snorted, classic Alex. Even a bitch as an employee. He grabbed his keys and left. Alex tossed a look over her shoulder though, watching him until out of sight.

What else was new about him?

Meanwhile, Emma's offices phone rang and she was typing away until she stopped breathlessly and happily picked up to take a break.

Emma: Hello?

Manny: Should I make pasta tonight? Or a whole roast beef dinner thing.

Emma: You know my feelings with meet..

Manny: I know, I know! But everyone important is coming tonight, Lucas' parents. Should I just order food and say I made it?

Emma laughs: Might be the save choice. Try something Italian, since Lucas is.

Manny: UGH! SEE?! This is why you're my maid of honor!

Emma: I'll see you in a hour.

Emma said her goodbye and laughed, hanging up.

"Alright, close up time." Jay announced, coming back into work where all the boys in monkey suits cheered and dropped there suits

Jay squinted his eyes, seeing Lucas standing with Alex at the front desk. They looked up as he came over.

"All your parts are shipping in for Tuesday morning." Alex told him with crossed arms and smirked, "I also covered all the messages on the phones and got appointments ready for Wednesday."

"Cause I told her my weddings Monday. Tomorrow.." drifted Lucas.

Jay just shrugged, good. Big deal!

Alex then got to the big pitch, "Which I was also just invited too." she glanced to Lucas, "me and luke became buddies while you were gone."

"Great." Jay said sarcastically, narrowing his eyes at Lucas who coughed awkwardly, noticing the tension.

"Also...something about a dinner tonight?" Alex innocently asked, glancing back to Lucas, yet she knew she wasn't so innocent, everyone did and Jay scowled.

Jay was REALLY glaring now at Lucas , _hard._ The dinner **tonight**!? That was at Emma's house? With **EMMA**?! Jay wasn't great at always remembering things but he sure as hell knew the last time Emma was around Alex, they were still not the best of friends. _Enemies_, to be honest.. and if Emma found out he gave a job to Alex before letting her know? Who knew what she would do..let alone just showing up for dinner with his EX?! Her greatest enemy_ and_ his Ex? He was in trouble.

"What was that?" Lucas asked as Jay stormed off, Alex just shrugged.

Emma was home with Manny already when Jay got there, and she changed into nice designer white leggings and a sparkly pink sequin tank top that showed off her back. Her hair was in a high beautiful messy styled bun and her make up had slight cat eye liner. She laughed with Manny, putting ordered food onto plates as if they cooked it to impress Lucas' family that was slowly all arriving, waiting in the big dining room at the long dinning table.

"Boyfriend!?" Manny happily exclaimed, turning but frowned at Jay's entrance. Lucas was a little late. "Your boyfriend." she mumbled to Emma.

Emma laughed and kept using the fork in her hand to slide food onto plates as Jay went behind her and kissed the back of her head but impatiently put his arm around her waist, "Can we go talk?" he asked, looking around as he heard tons of voices in the other room.

Oh god, Lucas would be here any minute with Alex.

"I'm REALLY busy." Emma admitted, glancing at Manny, "But after." she promised him.

Jay let go of her and scratched the back of his neck, looking helplessly at the front door and just waiting before he stepped back behind her, "I think we need to, _now_."

Emma stopped, and looked over her shoulder and up at him. Talk? Now? Was it a bad talk? OH god, was he breaking up with her?! Emma panicked a bit and dropped her fork, "Fine." she said slowly, her heart beating fast, breaking a little. She went to turn but the front door opened.

Jay shut his eyes tight. FUCK. Too late..

"Let's eat!" Lucas cheered, stepping inside and leading in his guest.

Emma turned and her face looked like it had been slapped when Alex showed her face, even Manny's mouth fell and she put her hands on her hips, "What!?"

"SLutos." greeted Alex, raising an eyebrow, impressed these people were still around, "So you are still banging her?" she asked Jay.

Awkward. So damn awkward.

Jay could already feel the burn of Emma's glare when she crossed her arms and looked at him. Manny made an 'ew' noise and walked to Lucas who put an arm around her.

"I do the banging around here." taunted Lucas, earning a slap from Manny.

Manny scowled at Alex, "**We're**, getting married. "she informed, pointing between her and Lucas.

Alex eyed Emma in the room now though, the ol enemy reunion feeling was sinking in and then she began to wonder why Emma was here but then again, she was Manny's best friend.. probably just here for dinner too. It was funny to see Emma Greenpeace Nelson still giving Jay the evil eye too like in highschool even after all these years..how little Alex knew.

"Nelson." Alex said, biting back more of a rude tone since knowing this was suppose to be a 'nice' dinner.

Emma skeptically looked at Alex, and then Jay, and noticed Jay wasn't shocked by her presence so meant he had already seen his EX, behind HER back and didn't even warn her she was coming.

Jay tightly bared a smile at everyone as Emma just stormed passed him, shoving by and ignoring Alex too as she went to the other room. Yup, she was pissed. He frowned deeply after and sighed.

_**(Why 'cause I'm a)  
I'm a jealous, jealous, jealous girl  
If I can't have you baby, if I can't have you baby  
Jealous, jealous, jealous girl  
If I can't have you baby, no one else in this world can**_

BE AGGRESSIVE  
B-E AGGRESSIVE  
I said, BE AGGRESSIVE  
B-E AGGRESSIVE  
B-E A-G-G-R-E-S-S-I-V-E

(lana del ray-jealous)


	20. Take A Chance, Make A Change

Jay clenched his jaw, seeing Emma seated herself purposely between Spinner and Jane so they couldn't sit together.

Lucas' parents were talking to Manny's and Manny happily held Lucas' hand as she showed off her ring to her cousins and his.

Alex sat between Lucas and Jay and looked to Jay during the meal, "So what made Tony leave YOU the shop?" she taunted.

Emma dug her fork harder into her salad and Jay had a look on his face like a puppy did when it was in trouble and he snuck a glance at Emma until looking at Alex.

"Cause I was the best." he snapped, picking up his fork and hoping that conversation was done.

"Still the same I see." sighed Alex, putting food in her mouth and smiled while chewing, "Same ol mean Jay Hogart."

Emma fumed. Was, was Alex FLIRTING with Jay!? Had she not gone lesbo ?!

Liberty and Peter ate from across Jay and Liberty even oddly looked at Alex and then to Emma, mouthing 'what?'

"I need more salt, want some?" Peter asked Liberty, standing up and she nodded, watching him go to the kitchen.

Alex was still trying to talk to Jaya and Emma just bit the end of her tounge and got up, grabbing her drink that was still half full, to get more..

Jay took this chance to throw his napkin down and get up, going after her.

"Hey Em." Peter nervously coughed and greeted when she walked into the kitchen and beside him, filling up her wine glass.

"Peter." Emma simply said, still not a fan after the year of him dating Liberty, she just couldn't see it being a happy ending between them.

"You okay?" he asked, putting that sympathic look on his face.

Emma sipped her wine in her glass, squinting her eyes to glare at him, stupid dumb fake Ex's.

"You can talk to me you know.." drifted Peter as Jay came in from behind.

"beat it." growled Jay and Peter grabbed the salt.

"Ok." Peter quickly obeyed and ran out, leaving Emma to roll her eyes and sip her wine again.

Jay eyed her, she looked good.. i mean mad, she was clearly mad! He had to fix this.

"Alex just SHOWED up today, out of the blue, I swear." he explained.

Emma crossed one arm under the arm she held her wine glass with, "OH really?" she taunted, "So you couldn't let me know when you stopped by at work that she _came out out of the blue_?"

"It was after that." Jay informed, looking honest.

Emma just scowled and angered more when he smirked, "Is this funny to you!? I _hate _her, sh-she was relentless in highschool-" Jay noticed her coming up with wierd excuses.

"You're not mad it's Alex." Jay said, matter of fact like and a little amused, "You're just mad it's one of my exs."

"One of a million." sneered Emma.

Jay laughed, "You're so hostile right now." he teased, putting his hands on her hips and she tried to use her other free hand to slap it away but he held that wrist down as the other pushed her up against the counter behind her and stood body to body.

"You're jealous again, baby." he huskily whispered near her lips and she looked at his wantingly but tried to remember she was mad at him.

"Don't call me that right now." she hissed, putting her wine glass down and finally tried to use two hands to fight him off but he grabbed both her wrists, putting them behind her playfully and she glared up hotly at him as he smirked devilishly and leaned down, kissing her lightly, and then a bit more, and once again as she relaxed and kissed back, until it turned passionate but slow and loving, her wrists let go and now her fingers laid against his jaw, his arms wrapped around her slim waist possesively.

The kitchen door opened and Alex came in and abruptly stopped, seeing the scene of the blonde princess from highschool in the arms of the big bad boy, kissing passionately. She, in shock, turned and left unnoticed. She stopped outside the door and mouthed 'what the fuck' before glancing at the door where they were inside of. . and the most disgusting part was that Alex actually found them pretty _cute _together.

Dinner ended, and everyone was enjoying drinks in the party room, the kids watching tv in the movie room.

Emma had went to put on a movie for the kids as Jay stayed back to open a beer with Lucas to celebrate and that's when Alex snuck in.

"So you're with Nelson?" Alex asked, noticing the stolen glances between the two all night and need to be near another even when they stood with other people. "No wonder you've been M.I.A." she taunts.

Jay narrowed his eyes and sipped his beer, "I'm not going to fall for that 'you're a different guy, lets make you feel bad for it' bit. I'm a **better **guy now, and I like it this way."

Emma walked back in but didn't notice them talking, and was catching up with Manny's parents.

Alex glanced to see what Jay was staring at with a small smirk on his face and she raised an eyebrow, impressed. After some silence, she spoke up, "Sounds like you _love _it." as she said love, she glanced at Emma, showing in her own way she knew Jay was inlove.

About damn time.

Jay nodded slowly, he was inlove with Emma, old news. It was odd hearing Alex admit to seeing it, believing it, and sound okay with it though but he was happy she was.

"I do." he finally replied, glancing at Alex seriously, "**A lot**." he showed much emotion, showing he wasn't going to mess this up.

Alex nodded and shrugged, but believed in him and hoped for the best. After a nice moment, she snickered and said, "Can't believe she's with your sorry ass though." she eyed Emma up and down in that loose sparkly top and little pieces of blonde hair falling, "She got mighty hot."

"Go home Alex." sneered Jay and growled, actually alittle jealous and protective of Emma. Not like Emma had her girl on girl thoughts anyways, even though that'd be hot for a night, but she was **his **like he was hers. Nobody elses.

Alex giggled, knowing he knew she wasn't THAT serious, "See you at work Tuesday."

he cringed, but nodded and chuckled, glancing to see her actually go. he smirked and moved back over to his girl, Emma, slipping an arm around her waist as she now stood with her parents, and he caught up with them.

He had met them now and then before they were dating, plus Snake was his old teacher.. but once they were in a real relationship and did the 'meet the parents' thing, Snake wasn't a fan of their relationship at first but Spike was, knowing Emma was happy, and Jay was a charmer. Soon, Snake admitted Jay was actually great, he owned his own business, helped fix up Snakes very own car, and had his own apartment and life together..not to mention Jay picked a pretty good girl out for himself to live this good life with..so he couldn't be that bad.

"I can't believe you're getting married tomorrow." Emma whispered to Manny, in her bed later that night.

It was just them in the house, Jay took Lucas back to his place with Spinner. It was bad luck to share the night before your wedding with your groom!

Emma admitted though, she missed Jay. But it was just one night!

Manny smiled happily, actually tearing up, "em.." she drifted off, "I'm getting _married_." the two giggled together and sunk more into the blankets.

"I like him." Emma approved of Lucas.

Manny laughed and wrinkled her nose, "Yeah I sorta like him too." they giggled again and then calmed down, trying to get to sleep.

They had a BIG day tomorrow.

"After this.. it's all over." Manny's tone went sad, glancing at Emma, "We move out, go our own ways.."

Emma nodded just as sadly and whispered, "The college days are over."

"Guess they've been over for awhile." sighed Manny and pouted, "Are we ready to be away from another?"

"WE had years to prepare." teased Emma with a giggle and nodded at her, "I think we're ready...we got new people to lean on."

Manny smiled softly, "You're right... but I'll still need you now and then."

"Forever." promised Emma to her best friend and they shared a smile and moment before closing their eyes and finally falling asleep.

_**(Breakaway-kelly clarkson)  
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly  
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky  
And I'll make a wish  
Take a chance  
Make a change  
And breakaway  
Out of the darkness and into the sun  
But I won't forget all the ones that I love  
I'll take a risk  
Take a chance  
Make a change  
And breakaway**_


	21. I Think I Wanna Marry You

"I cannot get married without that necklace, Emma." Manny exclaimed, wearing her big princess ball gown wedding dress.

She looked beautiful, and her hair was half up and pin straight, her bangs swept to the side. Her chest was bare, and she really wanted the necklace her grandmother gave her as a little girl.

Emma wore the ruby satin bridesmaid dress, it was a long dress and had an Empire Waist while the straps of the dress only went on one shoulder and it was lace, and guided around the top of the dress til it turned to satin. She curled her long blonde hair to the side and every bridesmaid had to wear matching red lipstick.

"I mean, you can.." admitted Emma, not seeing why Manny wouldn't marry because of a necklace, "But.." she drifted off, seeing Manny's angered face "We'll find it!"

"Found it!" Darcy exclaimed, running into the room with the gold necklace with big diamonds hanging off everywhere. It was a beauty, fit for a queen, and Darcy helped put it on Manny.

Emma had to admit, it made Manny look two times more beautiful if possible.

"Oh thanks god." pouted Manny, looking at herself in the mirror and holding the biggest diamond gem in the middle, "I really wanted my Grandmother to be apart of this day."

"2 minutes!" yelled out a church worker into the room and Manny jumped and scowled him.

Liberty yelped and grabbed her flowers as did Emma and Darcy. Jane came in holding Isabellas hand who was going to be the flower girl.

"Izzy you look so beautiful." Manny exclaimed, smiling at Lucas' little girl. She wasn't around much, due to Mia's belief that Lucas wouldn't ever change but he did.. when he met the right girl. But Izzy would always be his so Mia respected that.

"1 more minute." the worker called out, and music started to play outside.

"Oh my god, Emma, it's coming so fast." Manny panicked, turning to the blonde.

Emma gave her a silly look, "You're ready for this." she said seriously, "You love Lucas like nobody ever before."

"Not even Craig?" Darcy asked dumbly. Emma scowled.. how did Manny keep in touch with this girl!

"Don't you DARE bring him up again on my wedding day." snapped Manny and pointed viciously and Jane tried not to laugh.

"Got it, sorry." Darcy squeeked, closing her mouth.

"You girls ready?" came Manny's dads voice, entering the room and smiling at Manny. They've had their ups and downs, but he truly did just want the best for her.

"Daddy." Manny started to cry and waved her hands in her face, "Oh no, my make up."

Her dad leaned over her and kissed her cheek, "You look beautiful, Manuela. Let's get you down that isle." he said, and hooked her arm with his

Emma smiled, seeing Manny finally looked ready and she followed Jane and the flower girl out.

"I'm shitting my pants here guys." Lucas whispered to Jay and Spinner behind him at the front of the church, waiting for the girls.

Behind Jay was some randoms that were Lucas' cousins. They were all dressed in tuxedos with bright dark red ruby ties.

"Romantic." joked Spinner and Jay smirked.

"What's taking them so long?" Lucas feared the worse.

"Man if she was going to flee, she would of done it months ago." joked Jay and laughed silently with Spinner as the crowd in the room waited for the bride, and then, the music started.

The girls began to walk down the isle.

And as Manny reached the front, by Lucas' side and her father kissed her before leaving, they smiled and knew this was everything they've ever hoped for.

Emma stood right after Manny, so she'd walk down with Spinner after it was done, and she'd playfully smirk at Jay when she caught his eye and walked with his friend away. And Jay would go with Jane, and then Lucas' cousins with Liberty and Darcy.

The wedding ceremony was beautiful, but the dinner afterwards was funner, and the dancing. And at the end of the night Jay sat full and leaning back on a chair with Spinner while most of the people with kids have left, and then the older adults...now just the young adults.

"Well I ate like a tiger." said Spinner, proud and rubbing his belly.

"How attractive." taunted his pretty wife, Jane, and he smirked to her.

Jay turned his head to look at Emma, whose head tilted to look at something and he glanced to see her watching Manny and Lucas. As the party was ending, the two still danced slowly to the slow jazz music and Lucas was whispering things into Manny's ear, making her softly giggle and looking up at him..so in love.

Jay coughed lightly and Emma snapped out of it, looking back at him and their friends.

"Kind of makes me regret we didn't have a big wedding." pouted Jane.

Spinner shrugged, all up for another wedding, "LEts do it again." he received a playful glare and he laughed, standing up, "Let's go." he yawned.

She nodded and took his hand, waving to Emma and Jay. Jay watched them go and looked back to Emma, who looked even prettier than the bride.. but he wouldn't say that on Manny's wedding day I guess.. besides, just a personal opinion.

"You tired?" Jay asked, ready to go. It was a hectic day and crazy night of partying.

Emma shook her head no but yawned and he smirked when she giggled and gave up, "fine." she rolled her eyes playfully.

He took her hand and Manny was the only one who saw them leaving and softly smiled to Emma as a goodbye.

"Your place or mine?" Jay asked Emma, driving through the night.

"Yours.." Emma drifted and sighed, "Mines looking empty after packing everything up." she couldn't believe it, no more living with Manny. She paused and continued after wrinkling her nose, "Think I'm actually going to stay with my mom until I get the place on the corner of Main street." she groaned, "I _reaaally _want it but the owner keeps saying that other buyer is giving her a better deal."

Jay chuckled at how grumpy Emma looked about it.

They got in and Emma took off her heels, "thank god." she breathed and ran to his room. His top drawer was mostly **her** drawer and she happily put on her black short shorts, but then happily went into his drawer to sneak a shirt even though she had a lot there. They were just more comfy!

She came out wearing his dark green football jersey, that almost made it look like she didn't have shorts on, and she took out all the bobby pins in her hair, letting the loose curls fall everywhere.

"Jay?" she called, looking around his kitchen and tv room to not see him but heard water running in the bathroom, "Midnight bath?" she teased.

He smirked, bent near his tub as it filled up and he stopped it, taking off his shirt, "Getting in or what, baby?"

A smile crept on her face as she pretended to think about it, but he lifted her top off slowly anyways and she unbuckled his pants while her eyes smoldered his.

It was just like the very first time they were in the tub together, minus the crying on Emma's part about Sean, but they were in the water as Jay just happily held Emma from behind and she played with the water, a happy look on her face too.

Not to sound so crued, but she loved having the old big bad Jay wrapped around her finger...and her.

"Jay." Emma moaned out, feeling his fingers trail between her legs. She gasped and closed her eyes, feeling his talent down there and he wrapped his other arm around her chest, leaning her back into him as he played inside her and she leaned her head back, sighing and moaning again, her curls touching the water just a little at the ends.

Jay gripped her hair as he moved his fingers deeper into her and she cried out as he sucked on her neck. Her hands reached up and gripped tightly the arm he held around her and shut her eyes tight, shaking and coming just minutes after starting and came with a squeel.

Why did he know her body so well!?

"One more time, EM." he whispered huskily in her ear, rubbing her still and her eyes were still shut but her mouth dropped, feeeling it coming again.

"Jay!" she cried out, not sure if she had the energy but her hips guided into his fingers and she whimpered and moaned as he whispered things into her ear. She bit her lower lip as he moved back in and out until he felt her entirely explode and she screamed out breathlessly, arching into his fingers and dropping her head to the right to feel his kisses and she moaned when he stopped and his fingers moved to her thigh, just roaming up and down as she relaxed and caught her breath.

"Now who could do that to you for the rest of your life?" he teased in her ear.

Emma opened her eyes slowly, a satisfied look on her face as she glanced over her shoulder at him, "It's never nice to be a show off." she looked back foward, smiling as she knew he was grinning too and her heart skipped.

She played with the water again, running her finger tip on the top of it and it made a line through the water as it followed her finger circle around

Jay's arm was still wrapped around her but the other one that carressed her thigh went away for a second, until it came back, holding a ring.

Emma glanced and looked at the water, for her eyes to widen and look back at it. A-a ring.. in his hands..for her?

It was just perfect, definitely her style, and though just the engagment ring so basically just a wedding band, it was a Garland Diamond Eternity Ring, and it was so tiny and perfect in his big hand. "Marry me." he mummered against the back of her neck. "Jay." she said, a bit of fear in her voice but nothing he didn't expect and she as felt him smirk at the back of her neck.

"You want to?" he asked, patiently waiting yet not so patient on the inside and wishing he could see her face.

Her curls bounced as she tilted her head so confused, "That's how you ask me to marry you?" she taunts, turning her head and deepened her voice, "You want to?" she mocked.

He chuckled, and grabbed her hand, and she stopped breathing as he slipped it on.

"Is it wierd that I want this so soon?" he asked quietly near her ear as she gawked the ring on her hand, she couldn't WAIT to see the real wedding ring.

Emma shrugged slowly, still a bit in shock, wasn't really THAT soon, they've been in anothers sights since highschool, and played around for three years, a real couple for two. She was almost 23 now and he was already so she could see why he was ready, that and the fact he finally found the girl for him and didn't want to lose her.

"Why do you want to marry _me_?" Emma couldn't believe it, he was so amazing, and she could be.. so unrational, stubborn, hold grudges.. ramble too much, think too much-

"Cause I love you with everything I have in me." he said easily. Her heart STILL pounded when hearing that. "And you're the only girl I've ever wanted to share my life with and saw a future with.." he coughed lightly, "Emma, I _liked _when you wanted to show **me** first about your new job promotion. I like when we even just have dinner together... wake up together. I want that **Every **day with you, I want to keep seeing what makes you proud and happy, I want to be part of that."

Emma teared up and tried to fight them and she nodded.

He added, "And if you say no, I'm afraid I won't meet anyone else who makes me feel the way _you do_." he confessed.

Emma stared at her ring again and sniffed, nodding, "I'll marry you." she happily accepted.

_**Tell me baby, Just say I doooooo-ooo  
Tell me right now baby,  
Tell me right now baby, baby.**_

Oh, it's a beautiful night,  
We're looking for something dumb to do.  
Hey baby,  
I think I wanna marry you.

Is it the look in your eyes,  
Or is it this dancing juice?  
Who cares baby,  
I think I wanna marry you.


End file.
